^^^ :yay

 

ShellformerV1: Raising "Bay-Hate" to an art form since approximately June 24th, 2009.

I stopped reading my own topic after page 17. I didn't concede my views but Tramp did sway me somewhat. I can however retract my statement that Sideswipe murdered Sideways and instead say:

 

Sideswipe KILLED Sideways.

 

This at least, everyone can agree.

Nope, it was suicide. Sideswipe was just trying to stop Sideways. But when he grabbed his sword, Sideways purposefully drove into it to kill himself rather than be taken prisoner. Sideswipe's line afterwards was him covering up his own inability to capture the Decepticon, instead pretending he meant to kill him the whole time.

 

:)

ROFLMAO!!!!! :rofl :rofl :rofl

Nope...it's the right thread, because bad dialogue kills me slowly and softly. Kind of like cinematic arsenic. Kind of like a Henry Gross song. Which makes most of what I heard in TF:ROTF technically murder.

 

Of the most odious and odiferous kind.

 

Now, look at that. I threw good money after bad by paying to go see this movie, only to find out that--via bad komedy (with a 'k!'), blurry robots, male glutes, plastic surgery splayed across the screen, garbage subplots from other genre films and robotic spittle and testicles--now Mick Bay's actually trying to kill me via silly, puerile dialogue fit for neither man nor beast. BASTARD. He's got me running and ducking and dodging and hiding low, looking over my shoulder and peeking around corners, taking out my insurance policies and making sure I tell my family every hour on the hour that I love them...because any moment could be my last with a bad director with a superiority complex who looks like Joe Montana's little brother Kip who loves to make blockbuster films that burn at my soul and make my skin itch and lower my sperm count and cause countless brain cells to die...and die...and die.

 

You won't get me, Mick Bay. You won't get ME.

 

Sideswipe did sound silly. But a lot of the voices sounded, well...silly except Screamer and Prime, and Prime's voice just overpowered everything else in every scene he was in...almost like it was a separate character unto itself. But if you're gonna go over the top with the voice acting (and clearly, ROTF is nothing if not game as far as that goes), then I'd want to go after PAtrick 'The Voice' Warburton. Or...MY GOD: Avery Brooks. But instead, we get what we got. When the teutonic Terror that is The Doctor actually stole some of the show in this regard, you've got some serious problems.

 

Good lord. Every time I turn around, there's a new reason to both hate this movie and scream bloody MURDER, all at the same time.

 

You won't get me, Mick Bay. You won't get ME.

 

 

 

 

 

 

First off: Mickey Bay is a god when it comes to making movies. You know one of those evil vendictive ones that hate all of humanity.

 

2nd: Peter Cullen as prime! I could listen to him all day... To bad The evil god bay used him as a tool to Torture us for 2 1/2 hours.

 

3rd: Ummm if Torture is against the law can we sue bay? I mean commmon, I was a soldier for 9 years had many surgeries and have been in a lot of pain but nothing has ever hurt me as bad as this movie did. Not even that time my wife told me our son belonged to my father and she was leaving me for a midget that worked with the circus.

I stopped reading my own topic after page 17. I didn't concede my views but Tramp did sway me somewhat. I can however retract my statement that Sideswipe murdered Sideways and instead say:

 

Sideswipe KILLED Sideways.

 

This at least, everyone can agree.

Nope, it was suicide. Sideswipe was just trying to stop Sideways. But when he grabbed his sword, Sideways purposefully drove into it to kill himself rather than be taken prisoner. Sideswipe's line afterwards was him covering up his own inability to capture the Decepticon, instead pretending he meant to kill him the whole time.

 

:)

ROFLMAO!!!!! :rofl :rofl :rofl

:agree I will subscribe to that theory from now on.

 

First off: Mickey Bay is a god when it comes to making movies. You know one of those evil vendictive ones that hate all of humanity.

 

2nd: Peter Cullen as prime! I could listen to him all day... To bad The evil god bay used him as a tool to torcher us for 2 1/2 hours.

 

3rd: Ummm if torcher is against the law can we sue bay? I mean commmon, I was a soldier for 9 years had many surgeries and have been in a lot of pain but nothing has ever hurt me as bad as this movie did. Not even that time my wife told me our son belonged to my father and she was leaving me for a midget that worked with the circus.

 

Nope. Torcher is not against the law. Unless, it's considered an act of arson..which Micheal Bay is pretty :awsum at.

 

Torture, on the other hand...

Nope...it's the right thread, because bad dialogue kills me slowly and softly. Kind of like cinematic arsenic. Kind of like a Henry Gross song. Which makes most of what I heard in TF:ROTF technically murder.

 

Of the most odious and odiferous kind.

 

Now, look at that. I threw good money after bad by paying to go see this movie, only to find out that--via bad komedy (with a 'k!'), blurry robots, male glutes, plastic surgery splayed across the screen, garbage subplots from other genre films and robotic spittle and testicles--now Mick Bay's actually trying to kill me via silly, puerile dialogue fit for neither man nor beast. BASTARD. He's got me running and ducking and dodging and hiding low, looking over my shoulder and peeking around corners, taking out my insurance policies and making sure I tell my family every hour on the hour that I love them...because any moment could be my last with a bad director with a superiority complex who looks like Joe Montana's little brother Kip who loves to make blockbuster films that burn at my soul and make my skin itch and lower my sperm count and cause countless brain cells to die...and die...and die.

 

You won't get me, Mick Bay. You won't get ME.

 

Sideswipe did sound silly. But a lot of the voices sounded, well...silly except Screamer and Prime, and Prime's voice just overpowered everything else in every scene he was in...almost like it was a separate character unto itself. But if you're gonna go over the top with the voice acting (and clearly, ROTF is nothing if not game as far as that goes), then I'd want to go after PAtrick 'The Voice' Warburton. Or...MY GOD: Avery Brooks. But instead, we get what we got. When the teutonic Terror that is The Doctor actually stole some of the show in this regard, you've got some serious problems.

 

Good lord. Every time I turn around, there's a new reason to both hate this movie and scream bloody MURDER, all at the same time.

 

You won't get me, Mick Bay. You won't get ME.

 

 

 

 

 

 

First off: Mickey Bay is a god when it comes to making movies. You know one of those evil vendictive ones that hate all of humanity.

 

2nd: Peter Cullen as prime! I could listen to him all day... To bad The evil god bay used him as a tool to torcher us for 2 1/2 hours.

 

3rd: Ummm if torcher is against the law can we sue bay? I mean commmon, I was a soldier for 9 years had many surgeries and have been in a lot of pain but nothing has ever hurt me as bad as this movie did. Not even that time my wife told me our son belonged to my father and she was leaving me for a midget that worked with the circus.

 

Mick Bay a god? If Mick Bay is a god, then he is a god who doesn't hear me. A god who won't answer any of my prayers. Mick Bay is a jealous god, a wrathful and vindictive deity who places us on the torture rack and laughs.

 

Oh, how he laughs.***

 

I don't think the BAYGOD hates humanity...plenty of people still love his movies. I have fun hating him, though, and I think my mouth has finally written a check that my ass can't cash...because the BAYGOD wants to serve me up as a burnt offering. He wants me dead, amigos and amigas. Dead, dead, dead. Just like Steven Seagal's career. And that's why Transformers 3: Stop, or My Spark Will Shoot, is imminent. The BAYGOD must act now, because he knows his time is short, and I must be made to pay for my transgressions against the shallow end of the cinematic gene pool.

 

Don't get me wrong: I love Peter Cullen. And I don't want anyone to think that I'm just reaching for something to criticize about the movie, because I'm not. The few things that were good about the movie were GOOD. There just wasn't much of it, and the bad ran through me like a really horrifying case of Taco Bell-induced diahrrea. Something just seemed off, like Peter Cullen somehow transcended the subject of his voice acting, resulting in two separate characters: Optimus Prime and Optimus Prime's Voice. It was just a little strange to me. But there you go. The BAYGOD was too busy torturing me--with no mercy whatsoever--with the voices of Wheelie/Jetfire/Meg Fox/Leo Spitz and a 'delightfully' inarticulate Devastator. Even Megatron's voice was off.

 

BTW, Sideways was not murdered. Sideways was not even killed. For starters, that was Sideways' evil twin brother Wayside--who always liked to leave the toilet seat up and overdose on Red Vines and felt very strongly that former WWE wrestler Molly Holly was his soul mate--who met his unfortunate end at the cold, cruel and experienced hands of Sideswipe. Sideways is safe and sound at the Ponderosa Steakhouse, and he is listening to Prince's 1999 album even as we speak. Wayside, at the time of the MURDER, was simply racing off to find Autobot headquarters to warn them about the rest of the movie.

 

Because, you see, Wayside read...The Script.

 

He'll kill us all, people. Mick Bay will kill us all. And laugh.

 

(*Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that some combination of Lainie Kazan, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson or Gilbert Gottfried will be 'featured' in Transformers 3: The Secret of The Ooze?)

(*Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that some combination of Lainie Kazan, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson or Gilbert Gottfried will be 'featured' in Transformers 3: The Secret of The Ooze?)

Secret of the Ooze was a great movie!

 

I know!!! Just watched it (again) over the weekend with the little guy! But Transformers 3: Electric Boogaloo just doesn't work.

 

Maybe I should start adding the titles of Segal films to the Transformers 3 title. Transformers 3: On Deadly Ground. Transformers 3: Out For A Kill. Or even...Transformers 3: Half-Past Dead!!! (Featuring Ja-Rule as the voice of Primus!!!)

^^^^^ Personally I would go with:

 

Transformers 3: Driven to kill

 

 

It would fit in great with the evil autobot theme that baygod created.

 

 

 

 

Decepticon: We must save out race no matter the cost. How can we not care about our fellow bots? If it comes down to us or the humans I chose us.

 

Autobot: Baaaammmmm! Shot ya in da head mudder fudg'n Beeeeoooooouuuuchhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! now time to hump your dead corps..... Man it's great being the good guy!

Manos: The hands of Transformers 3...

Teenagers from Transformers 3 Space...

Attack of the Transformers 3 Leeches...

Boggy Creek 2: The legend of Transformers 3 Continues...

Invasion of the Neptune Transformers 3...

The Girl in Transformers 3 boots...

 

Yeah... no, now I'm just shoving Transformers 3 into the titles of a few of my favorite episodes of "Mystery Science Theater 3000",(crud I must be bored...) The Steven Seagal jokes were a lot funnier than mine, so I surrender.

 

BTW, Shellformer... I like the idea that Sideways is alive and well (and chillin' at teh steak house) so much, I may have to steal it and use it in my comic someday. That okay with you? I promise I'll probably give you a credit... or something... :tfgrin

Dude, by all means: go for it!

 

Somehow, for some reason, Mick 'BAYGOD' Bay has gone and put horrifying Ja-Rule songs in my head, and they won't stop ('It ain't only for the Rule, baby!!!'). It's his fault, I blame him, and I denounce him (again) as my Lord and Saviour. I've gone over to the vilest pits of Tartarus, and I serve only the Dark One and pray that an eternity of servitude at his feet will give me the strength and fortitude to avoid Transformers 3: Megatron Takes Manhattan and take back our country--once and for all--from the ironfisted ineptitude of The BAYGOD. I've got another theory: Wayside (Sideways evil twin brother) is a 50-Cent fan, and was on his way to deliver a thuglife beatdown (from around the way, of course) to Ja-Rule--as well as actually delivering copies of the newest Cybertronian-Hip-Hop magazine--Criminal Rap Digest--when Swiper interceded on the behalf of all those who love sellout rap (as Swiper still loves C&C Music Factory, and refuses to let go of the 'infamous' fued between 3rd Bass and Vanilla Ice from the earliest 90's). The Biker Triplets had come to earth to move along painlessly into the Salt 'N' Pepa phase of their Transformer careers, and were similarly loathe to allow Wayside to embark on his campaign of gangsta rap and evil.

 

It's for the kids, damnit.

 

BAYGOD is livin' on a prayer if he thinks I'm going to take this lying down. Why, I haven't taken anything 'lying down'...well, not since that last time in San Francisco, but I digress. And I MUST digress, for The BAYGOD has enlisted the aid of yet another fallen angel, Martin ('Gigli') Brest , to helm Transformers 3: Sometimes They Come Back. My own time is short, and I must act. If only to save human beings...everywhere.

 

'IT AIN'T ONLY FOR THE RULE, BABY!!!'

 

Oh, angel of mercy, please just take me now..!

 

Thanks a lot, The 4RL deal: now I'm suffering acute MST3K-related withdrawl***, and only repeated viewings of Mitchell and Final Justice can hope to save me. Thanks a lot, fella.

 

(***If you really wanna have some fun, in addition to the episodes you listed, check out The Blood Waters of Dr. Z. Mike and The Bots had a blast with that one, and who wouldn't? I mean, seriously: the central plot point is some crazy Nazi scientist who wants to rule the world--no, I'm sorry: The UNIVERSE--by turning himself into a f***ing CATFISH!!!)

Sorry I got ya Jones'n for MST man, I didn't mean to make you "fall off the wagon"... But thanks for the tip on "Blood Waters"; I'm totally going to check that out! In fact, I've already got it book marked on my comput-or, I just don't have time to watch it tonight. But again, thanks! :thumb

 

But to try to stay on topic... Talking about having Sideways hanging out at the Steakhouse is really making me want to draw him into my comic; I'll have a picture of him chillin at the bar (which is a visual gag unto itself) and then Arcee and... whoever come in and they look at eachother for a minute... "Say... Didn't we kill you?" and (hopefully) 'Hilarity Ensues'. :tfgrin