sorry about the loooong wait. but i believe it's time for a

 

NEW CHAPTER

 

Dr Jones: OPTIMUS! I MADE YOU A SHIP! NOW YOU CAN GO TO SPACE! ….Optimus? Optimus? Where is everybody?

Strongarm: in space.

Dr. Jones: how?

Strongarm: they’re riding on 3 talking boats that have been modified for space travel.

Dr. Jones: NOW what am I gonna do with the Miranda 2?

Strongarm: eh. I’ll use it. I always wanted my own ride!

Skyblast: YAHOO!!! LET’S GO TO THE TAVERN AND GET WASTED!

Dr. Jones: he could’ve at least told me he was leaving

CRASH!

Dr. Jones: wha?

Captain Saltybeard: YAAAARGH! I BE RAMMIN THIS CITY!

Dr. Jones: uh oh…

Alpena: look, pal. I’m really sorry we had to meet like this. This guy uses me to ram anything he sees. No hard feelings.

Captain Saltybeard: yarrrrgh! Ram this city again!

Alpena: grrrr….NO! YOU RAM THE CITY IF IT INTERESTS YOU SO MUCH! I’VE HAD IT WITH YOU! *Chucks Saltybeard off into the horizon* well. That was fun. I’m off to go swim in peace and drop depth charges on what’s left of Atlantis.

Dr. Jones: mind if I tag along? You wont even know I’m there!

Alpena: eh. Fine. Don’t even THINK about ramming anything!

Dr. Jones: …what’s the point of ramming stuff?

 

Verticon: *Standing on the front of the ship singing* EVERYBODY WAS SUUUURRRFIIIIN!!!

Columbia Star: SURFIN OUTER SPACE!!!

Wedge: I’M SURFIN!!!! *Runs into a wall and falls over* SURFIN ON THE FLOOOOR!!!

Verticon: don’t screw the floor up like that, Wedge.

Bongimus: Bah! At least he isn’t bothering us

Wedge: WET WEDGE WILLY! *Jams his finger into Bongimus’s antenna port*

Bongimus: EEEYYYAAAARGH! THAT’S IT! I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

Avalanche: Wedge gave Bongimus his wet finger again, didn’t he?

Columbia Star: yuh huh

Hot Shot: This just in, guys. We’re stopping at what we believe is a remote planet rich with energon for mining.

Verticon: please tell me I don’t have to work…

Hot Shot: OH YOU’LL BE WORKING YOUR SORRY ASS OFF!

Alpha-Q: maybe we can make our new home there AND MAYBE WE CAN EAT IT! AND MAYBE WE CAN USE YOU AS BAIT TO CATCH WILD ANIMALS!

Wedge: OOO!!! ANIMALS! I WANT A KITTY!!!

Alpha-Q: TO EAT IT?!?!?!

Wedge: SILLY ROBOT! KITTIES ARE FOR PETTING!

Bongimus: *Slams Wedge into the ground*

Columbia star: AUGH! MY BACK! I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING!

Avalanche: for the last time. YOU CAN NOT FEEL PAIN!

Columbia star: yuh huh

Wedge: something’s broken? I’ll fix it! *runs under the main deck*

*a crash is heard in the distance*

Mesabi Miner: OW! NOW MY BACK HURTS TOO!

Bongimus: ….how did you run through space?

Wedge: I DIDN’T RUN! I RODE A BIKE!

Bongimus: ok…? Then how did you BIKE through space?

Wedge: it was a recomumbent…. Recomoooeeeyy….combruey…recumbent! It was a…. what I just said bike!

Optimus: ok men. We’re about to land. Everyone have their power crystals?

Wedge: I think I ate mine…

Alpha-Q: NOOOO!!! I ATE YOURS!!!! AND MINE!!! AND THEIRS!!!

Optimus? WHAT!?!?!? THEN HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO POWER THE MEGAZORDS??!!?!?

Omega supreme: in soviet Russia, Megazords power YOU!

Hot Shot: and with all do respect, sir. The only transformer here that even RESEMBLES a Megazord is you…

Optimus: that’s only till wingsaber comes in…

Hot Shot: uh…sir. That wasn’t a very power rangers-esque comment there.

Optimus: TO DEFEAT THE EVIL FURIO!

Hot Shot: oi….

Wedge: oi? oi. OI! OIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOI! *runs around the ship screaming and flapping his arms*

Bongimus: god I love when he does this *puts a metal pole in Wedges path. Wedge runs into it, barks, and collapses*

Wedge: is it time for tea around the toadstools?…*faints*

Columbia star: HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! WE’RE GONNA HIT THIS PLANET!

Indiana Harbor: c|0 vv3 HAVE 2 |=()nn3 \/\/ / j00? *for those of you out there who aren’t reeeaal serious about l33t, this means: “do we have to come with you?�*

Mesabi Miner: I wanna stay up here and eat the moon

Alpha-Q: NO!! THE MOON IS MINE! yes. With it, we can build a new base and restart our Quintesson civilization! AND THEN WE’LL EAT IT!

*The Columbia Star crash-lands into the planet*

 

Columbia Star: BEEP! LAST STOP, REMOTE ALIEN WORLD! EVERYONE OFF! BEEP!

Ironhide: shut up…

Jetfire: rrrrrgh… *FART!* ALLRIGHT! FIRST AUTOBOT TO FART ON THIS PLANET!

Gundam Stamen: oh I am SO not cleaning that up!

Ironhide: wait…other robots?

Omega supreme: in Soviet Russia, planet farts on YOU!

Verticon: is Soviet Russia also where Earth’s ass is then?

Avalanche: well, from my geography research, Earth HAS no ass, dumbass!

Wedge: but if he’s a ass, how come Earth has no a ass?

Bongimus: *smacks Wedge*

Gundam Stamen: feh. You all are coming back to the mess hall with me. Alex’ll want to see you. And possibly exploit your abilities for tea.

Wedge: boy if only I knew what “exploit� meant: it sounds like the thingies that makes the baddy guys go BOOM!

Stamen: you think that…

 

Gundam Alex (NT-1) : Welcome back from your scouting, faithful brainpawn. Who are these people? Do they have tea?

Stamen: they might be some sort of new mobile suit types. They have faces and mouths! And they…uh

Nu Gundam: they do what?

Hot Shot: we can transform! *turns into his car mode*

Wedge: AND I CAN TALK ON A CELL PHONE AND BLOW GUM BUBBLES AT THE SAME TIME!

Alex: you’re not very bright, are you?

Wedge: who wants to know?

Alex: me…

Wedge: ME TOO!

Nu Gundam: now that that question has been answered….any of you guys have tea?

Verticon: wait… tees? As in the stuff we play golf with?

Wedge: well if that is so, I do happen to have an overabundance of tees you may borrow for as long as you so desire. As you all may know, I am an avid golfer.

Bongimus: WHOA! HOLD THE PHONE! Wedge…?

Wedge: yes, feeker?

Bongimus: nevermind….

Avalanche: oh silly me. I was sitting on my remote and I hit the “smart� button.

Optimus: and I am the red ranger.

Kicker: AND I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

Ball: BALL!

Kicker: WHO WANTS SOME?!!?

Stamen: BRING IT ON, YOU BASTARD! *punts Kicker into the horizon*

Alex: continuing on… we need to wake the Zetas up again.

Ironhide: what’s a Zeta?

Nu: you’ll see. Ball, take the blue dude with you.

Ball: BALL!

*Ball leaves with Ironhide*

Alex: so are you new guys here to stay?

Aile Strike Gundam: OH! DOES THAT MEAN WE’RE NO LONGER THE NEW GUYS?

Nu: I guess. BUT YOU STILL GET THE GRUNTWORK!

Buster Gundam: grrrr…. one of these days…

Alex: which does not happen to be today. So shut up!

Nu: speaking of which. Alcohol snake boy, bring me some tea

Aile Strike Gundam: my name is AILE STRIKE! Stop making puns on my name.

Nu: eheheheheheh no. Get the tea, jackass

Aile Strike: *storms off cursing to himself*

Freedom Gundam: we demand respect!

Alex: and WE demand TEA!

Freedom: c’mon. we’re new here. We need respect

Nu: ok. Tell me. What’s 2+2?

Freedom:….4

Alex: BZZZT! WRONG! THE CORRECT ANSWER IS “ALEX WANTS SOME TEA�!

Hot Shot: so…. What is this place anyway?

Alex: we are the White Base Summer Base. Weeba Sumba for short

Hot Shot: I see

Gundam MK II: I’m the computers technician. Pleased to meet you

Avalanche: I’m the computers technician of the Autobots. *shakes MK II’s hand*

MK II: have you figured out the way to debug a dell?

Avalanche: simple really. Go to file, options, debug

MK II: oh. I didn’t see that as an option. I was looking under “edit�

Verticon: ERRRGH! Stop the nerd talk! It hurts my brain!

Optimus: we came here in search of energon

Nu: that green crapola in the front yard?

Optimus: *sees the energon* PERFECT!

*Zeta bunker*

Ball: BALL! Ball ball BALL ball ball BALL BALL BALL!

Ironhide: I have no idea what you just said!

Ball: BALL! *Bursts into the bunker and raps on the Zetas’ backs with his claws*

Full Armor enhanced ZZ Gundam (FAEZZ): AUGH!

ZZ Gundam: BLOODY HELL!

Zeta Gundam: MY RIBS!

Enhanced ZZ Gundam (EZZ): WHATS FOR DINNER?

FAEZZ: are you not in pain?

EZZ: maybe I am!

Ball: BALL!

*The Zetas rush to the mess hall*

Alex: there you are, lazy good-for-nothings

Zeta: shut up…

Alex: ok. Who wants to drag the frat boys in here?

Nu: leave them to me

Verticon: I gotta see this. Being the free-spirited gamer that I am and all

Nu: follow me then

 

*Frat house*

Deathscythe Hell Custom: I’m like, gonna spill beer all over the furniture!

Wing Gundam Zero Custom: DUUUUDE! DON’T RUIN MY SOFAS!

Heavyarms Custom: I got a freakin’ hangover

Sandrock Custom: alcohol is the water of the devil. The lord frowns upon you all

Nataku: YOU SUCK!

Nu: ok, frat morons. Time for Alex’s morning speech..Er…rant. Front and center

Zero Custom: aw c’mon. All work and no play makes Nataku a dull boy

Nataku: Leave me out of this!

Deathscythe Hell Custom: hey guys, when did we put the bathroom over here? *Pees in the fridge*

Heavyarms Custom: AGH! *Slams Deathscythe Hell Custom into a wall*

Verticon: *blasts his horn at the frat boys*

Heavyarms Custom: AAARRGH! NOT WHEN I HAVE A HEADACHE! TURN IT OFF, MAN!!!

*The frat boys charge into the mess hall*

Alex: okeeee then. That’s everyone. Except the midgets who we never worry about because-

Zero The Winged (Winking) Knight: OH BUT WHY, SWEETIE? Do you have something against us?

Nu: oh hell…

Shute: HI! I’M RETARDED!

Wedge: HI RETARDED! I’M WEDGE! I LIKE HAM!

Shute: I invent useless crap in my workshop! And I like men!

Zero The Winking Knight: oh yes, sweetie. Me too. I put the “Hotspot� in “gayness�

Bongimus: *steps back*

Hot Shot: but you’re a woman.

Zero the Winking Knight: oh no, silly. My voice is just terribly feminine!

Wing Zero Custom: you’re, like. A little midget form of me, dude! That’s creepy as hell!

Deathscythe Hell Custom: anyone got some strong beer? I’m starting to sober up….

Aile Strike Gundam: here’s your friggin tea! *Slams a crate of tea down in front of Alex*

Alex: thank you, snake dude

Aile Strike: that’s “Aile Strike�, jerk

Alex: HEY! Don’t give me any backtalk! Or I’ll make you sleep with ZERO!

Zero: OH I JUST ADORE COMPANY! WE’LL HAVE A FABULOUS TIME!

Aile Strike: EEEYYYAAAAH!!! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY! ANYTHING BUT THAT! MERCY!

Alex: ya know I’m too nice to you sometimes… *bonks Aile Strike on the head*

Aile Strike: *turns colorful* cut that out

Nu: that’s awesome. Hitting the future boys gives them color.

Freedom Gundam: it’s called PHASE SHIFT ARMOR!

Nu: who cares what it’s called? It’s FUN!

Optimus: I can shift phases too! PRIME MEGAZORD! ACTIVATE! *transforms to super mode* PRIME MEGAZORD! HIYYYAAAHHH!!!!

RX-78-2 Gundam: *sips some tea* I say, old chap. This tea tastes oddly rancid. *slaps Aile Strike*

*Aile Strike gets colors*

RX-78-2: be a sport and fetch me a new crate. I prefer taste-tea to tea-n-tea.

Aile Strike: I hate you all!

Wedge: I LOVE YOU! *hugs Aile Strike*

Zero: where’s MY hug, sweetie?

Ball: BALL!

Wedge: uh…. *runs away*

Bongimus: even WEDGE knows you’re creepy. And this is WEDGE we’re talking about!

Ironhide: that says a true mouthful

Nu: quick question…

Hot Shot: yes?

Nu: what’s with that green snake thingie over there with the tentacles?

Hot Shot: oh. You mean Alpha-Q?

Alpha-Q: *wakes up and speaks in his hybrid voice again* I am Alpha-Q, lord of Quintessa. we fight to bring our planets back. AND I FIND ALL THAT IS TASTY AND GOOD!!! AND I KILL THAT WHITE BASTARD! STOP EATING THAT TENTACLE!!!

Strongarm: the mining is complete. We have all the energon loaded on the Columbia Star who has just finished repairing himself

Avalanche: when did he learn to do THAT?

Wedge: I re-paired him! WITH A GIRL SHIP!

Ironhide: yeah….sure…

Hot Shot: well, it was nice meeting you guys. But our search for energon never ends. Farewell!

Every Gundam: *in relative unison* SEE YA! GOODBYE! HAVE FUN!

*the Transformers leave*

 

Columbia Star: hey! You! Get away from me!

Gundam EZ-8: looks like a spacecraft of some kind. Poke it again

Gundam Ground Type ([G]): *pokes the Columbia Star*

Columbia Star: I’m giving you 5 seconds before I hit you! 5…4…3

[G]: I think we should go. *leaves*

EZ-8: NO WAY! I want this ship! It’s-

*WHAM!!!*

EZ-8: YAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaahh!! *Disappears in the horizon*

Columbia Star: I warned him!

Hot Shot: everyone on board

*The transformers climb aboard the ship as the high command return to the bridge*

Optimus: hot shot, set a course for space. I need to find terranova

Hot Shot: that was all CGI and models, sir. That show is not real…

Optimus: I live on hope….

Hot Shot: engines on. Commence countdown

Columbia Star: 5….4….eh, blast off…

*The Columbia Star rockets back into space*

Megatron: ERGH! SO THERE YOU ARE, TIDAL WAVE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG WE WERE LOOKING FOR YOU?

Tidal Wave: Tidal Wave doesn’t care. Tidal Wave found true happiness. Kids climb Tidal Wave like fort. Makes Tidal Wave feel warm inside…and kids.

Megatron: gr…. Release those children and report back to our temporary headquarters at once!

Tidal Wave: no

Megatron: then I’ll have to use force! Meet my newest minion. Shockblast!

Shockblast: YEEEE HAW!!! HOOOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS! I’M GONNA PLUG YOU SO FULL OF HOLES, PARDNER!

Tidal Wave: RUN, KIDS! RUN! *releases all children inside him and runs like hell*

Shockblast: YEEEEEE HAAAW!!! *shoots at Tidal Wave like a crazy psycho*

Hey Bootleg, sorry about the loooong response time, but I just want to say keep the :tflaugh laughs coming. :tflaugh Just one minor objection: the term 'maverick' is used by those who do things in strange bold way to get good things done. I know because that is what I am. Other than that keep the laughs coming. BTW waiting for some big bot action also like Metroplex, Tyripticon, Fort Max, or some other big bot. Just a suggestion. :thumb ;)

Freedom: c’mon. we’re new here. We need respect

Nu: ok. Tell me. What’s 2+2?

Freedom:….4

Alex: BZZZT! WRONG! THE CORRECT ANSWER IS “ALEX WANTS SOME TEA�!

 

HAHHAHA!

freakin funny!

thanks for the feedback. i aim to please and cause laughter. i apologize for misusing the word "maverick". i replaced it with "psycho". did that satisfy you guys enough for a gundam crossover? i was thinking about using the bad guy mobile suits. but i didnt find any spot for them.

since the w gundam boys are in a frat,

why dont you put the other mobile suits in a rival fraternity...

 

LEt the frat boy nonsense COMENCE!!

i'm afraid i can't do that. for these reasons:

 

-the frat that the Wing 5 are in is not even an official fraternity. they just made it up and act as though it is.

 

-the Gundams are not exactly part of the Transformers universe. the whole Gundam addition was meant as a cameo as well as a crossover. i dont intend to make any of the Gundams main characters.

 

-The Wing 5 are not in any of the previous chapters of my Gundam comedy (which is not on this forum. it's on a Gundam forum i joined) and i only added them to have some Gundams that most of you guys would recognize.

now it's time for another craptacular christmas carol i made. this one is based on the 12 days of christmas. to save space, i'm just posting the 12th day since it has everything.

 

on the 12th day of Christmas Primus gave to me

12 Wedges whining

11 repaints

10 Divebombs screeching

9 Landmines mining

8 Bulkheads flying

7 Downshifts crashing

6 Thundercackers

5 Quintessons

4 Sharkticons

3 Starscreams

2 Dinobots

and a bootleg of Megatron

 

oh and i have another surprise for you guys. it's in the works right now but it should be ready by tonight. oops.. i think i gave it away

well here's the surprise. a christmas special chapter. enjoy!

 

Ironhide: *wakes up* it’s….CHRISTMAS!!! EVERYBODY, WAKE UP! IT’S CHRISTMAS! WOOOO!!!!

Wedge: *walks out of the refrigerator* Christmas? CHRISTMAS!!! YAY!!! What’s Christmas?

Bongimus: it’s the one time of the year where I don’t kick your ass

Kicker: anyone got some mistletoe? I gotta score on some chicks!

Misha: um…uh….I have some, Kicker

Kicker: THANKS! *grabs the mistletoe and runs off*

Misha: KICKER!

Optimus: PRESENTS! PRESENTS! DID I GET THE DINO MEGAZORD AND THE ASSAULT TRUCK!?!?

Columbia Star: hey! I ordered a new fishing pole! Why isn’t it here yet? I need to FISH!

Avalanche: you can’t fish! You’re a SHIP!

Verticon: pssst, avalanche. We gotta take the TV. Walter J McCarthy Jr’s Christmas special is starting!

 

*theme song*

Walter J McCarthy Jr: note to self. Get new band… anyway, welcome to the show. For those of you who don’t think properly, this is the show where I bash movies I hate and sometimes invite guests to humiliate them on national TV! Now I can’t really think of one right now, so I’m gonna wing it for some extra entertainment tonight. Anyone in the audience wanna give me a suggestion?

Lee A Tregurtha: RAISING HELEN!

JAW Iglehart: THE PARENT TRAP!

St Clair: I AM SAM!

Earl W Oglebay: THE MATRIX!

Walter J McCarthy Jr: WHO THE HELL SAID THAT!?!? MR ARMS, FIND HIM AND KILL HIM! NOBODY INSULTS THE MATRIX!

Mr. Arms: *looks around, pulls out a shotgun, and shoots Earl W Oglebay in the pilothouse, damaging his AI*

Earl W Oglebay: brururuuuuuuoooonnnn…focus factor…. *shuts down*

Buckeye: I KNOW! I KNOW! PAY IT FORWARD!

Walter J McCarthy Jr: I HEARD PAY IT FORWARD!

Buckeye: *whispers to himself* yes! He picked mine! This the happiest day of my life!

Walter J McCarthy Jr: now I was watching this movie a few nights ago because I couldn’t sleep and I needed an excuse to knock myself unconscious. So I turned to this bad movie. Now let me say it was a good choice. I was out cold in 5 minutes. Might have been the gallons of alcohol I drank while watching it though. I can’t remember. Either way, I was fortunate enough to catch the movie right at the ending which happens to be the worst part of the whole damn thing. The boy just became famous. He should be living it up in a fancy house banging some whore while it’s still illegal. But noooo he gets stabbed! By some random bully who says 10 words in the whole movie, probably because his vocabulary is about that extensive. Hell, he probably can’t understand what I’m saying right now, which is good. Well anyway, the kids gets stabbed and his mom recovers him and brings him to a hospital. The surgeon comes out and says something which we can’t hear, not that I’m complaining or anything. And the mom starts crying. So guess what? The boy kicks the bucket. From a stab to the SMALL INTESTINE! My GRANDMA could survive a stab there. YOUR grandma could survive a stab there. This boy must be one helluva wuss to die from a stab wound that wasn’t even fatal! So then there’s his mom and his teacher watching an interview the press took of him earlier, probably to make the audience cry or something. I didn’t, I was just bored as hell. Then they cue some crappy sorrowful tune while the whole damn town is in line at his house with candles. Geez. You’d think they’d bring money or something useful. But noooo. Just candles and a bad song about angels. And then the movie ends.. yeah….what a waste of time. Despite the fact that it was a rental, I burned the tape. It’s not like I can’t afford to pay blockbuster back. In fact, that’s one of my new hobbies. Renting bad movies, burning them, and then paying the rental companies and telling them not to offer those bad ones anymore! Feh. Onward to our feature of the show, something to celebrate Christmas. See, earlier this month, I posed as santa to make kids cry . roll that tape, Mr. Volt.

Kid: I want a doggy for Christmas

Walter J McCarthy Jr: well isn’t that just peachy. I can’t bring live animals in my sleigh. Try again, junior

Kid: I just want a doggy

Walter J McCarthy Jr: I said NO, dammit!

Kid: but sometimes no means yes

Walter J McCarthy Jr: no… yes means yes. And no means no! and maybe I’ll give you a stuffed dead dog.

Kid: can I still play with it?

Walter J McCarthy Jr: NO! NEXT!

Kid: *cries*

Walter J McCarthy Jr: go away

Kid: *cries louder*

Walter J McCarthy Jr: GO AWAY!

Kid: *screams*

Walter J McCarthy Jr: NEXT!

Fat Kid: I want some more little debbies!

Walter J McCarthy Jr: look, I’m gonna give you a little hint. You be your own santa for Christmas. Here’s how. Put a plate under your head and GAG YOURSELF!

Fat Kid: doesn’t that make me puke?

Walter J McCarthy Jr: well you said you wanted MORE, right? Well puke the ones you already ate out! That’s recycling!

Fat Kid: but they won’t taste very good

Walter J McCarthy Jr: aww that’s sad.. NOT! NEXT!

Teenage girl: I want to be loved for Christmas

Walter J McCarthy Jr: well. I’m santa. I’m jolly cuz I know where all the naughty girls live. I’ll give ya some hot lovin!

Girl: uh…I don’t think it would work… you’re a boat

Walter J McCarthy Jr: I’m a SHIP! And that means MORE RAMMIN’ SPACE!

Girl: EEEEW!

Walter J McCarthy: well you’re already on my deck, let’s say we take it a step further!

Girl: EEEEEW!!! *runs away*

Walter J McCarthy Jr: hey wait! I didn’t get your phone number…Starscream… NEXT!

Old man: I want more life

Walter J McCarthy Jr: more life means more pain, stupid. You should just end yours and get it over with!

Old man: maybe you’re right. I am getting on in years…

Walter J McCarthy Jr: get off of me! Old is contagious!

Old man: *leaves*

Walter J McCarthy Jr: NEXT!

Wedge: I WANNA DOLLY!

Walter J McCarthy Jr: what the hell is wrong with you?

Wedge: I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! *cries *

Walter J McCarthy Jr: uh….

Bongimus: *drags Wedge away* sorry about the embarrassment. He’s kinda stupid that way…

Walter J McCarthy Jr: YEAH! And KEEP him chained up! Santa’s all done now. I gotta go play poker… *tape ends*

 

Walter J McCarthy Jr: well that was fun. I shamed a lot of folks down by the waterfront. And that’s all the time we have tonight, folks. Tune in tomorrow where I’ll insult another movie and make someone else’s life miserable!

 

Verticon: tis the season

Avalanche: *nods*

Alpha-Q: OH I HOPE I GOT THAT GIANT HERSHEY BAR FOR CHRISTMAS! perhaps I got my energon processor I HOPE MY ASSAULT RIFLE IS IN THERE SOMEWHERE!

COAL!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!

Hot Shot: A NEW WORKBENCH! YAY!

Inferno: ooo a sharp-shooter handbook. Niiiice

Optimus: I GOT THE MEGAZORD! WOOOOO!!!

Columbia Star: quit hoggin’ the egg nog!

Mesabi Miner: I said 2 more gulps. I NEED the money

Indiana Harbor: wow. u actually did it. k, here’s ur money *gives the Mesabi Miner a dollar*

Mesabi Miner: like I said, nothing I can’t do!

Verticon: I got Halo 2. Who wants to take me on?

Avalanche: later. I’m busy.

Misha: please, Kicker. Just kiss me

Kicker: no. you’re not the happiness my pants wants

Rodimus: my men and I came to celebrate with you

Landmine: anyone up for a game of twister? No it’s a good game. SHUT UP!

Prowl: did we open presents yet?

Omega Supreme: in soviet Russia, presents open YOU!

Rodimus: that’s creepy.

hot Shot: oh right. From all of us on Cybertron

Inferno: including Bootleg Megatron

Verticon: we hope your Christmas goes your way

Avalanche: like any other holiday

Ironhide: have a merry Christmas, please

Wedge: I like bacon, ham, and cheese!

 

Megatron: ahh yes. Christmas is upon us. Present me my presents! *opens his presents* POONUTS! MORE COAL! Just like every year! Why must I suffer so?

Demolishor: because Santa put you on the naughty list, sir

Snow Cat: there’s no such thing as Santa, you moron YODELELELELEDDDDELLAAAAAYYYOOOOO!!!!

Demolishor: YES THERE IS!

Shockblast: I’ve been on the naughty list for years, pardner. It aint anything new to me!

Megatron: hmmm I see. Any energon yet?

Starscream: none

Megatron: POONUTS!

Demolishor: nobody’s reading the fic anymore. The Autobots just concluded it

Megatron: how did you know that?

Demolishor: most likely a quirk

Funny very funny.

Next chapter needs more Wedge and Omega Supreme. They are the best.