First off, I liked the original film - I saw it at the midnight opening and went back four, yes FOUR times after that; getting it on DVD and seeing it on my own terms, not Michael Bay's made me lose some love for it: it is after all tenuously plotted, for every good robot design there's a lame one, light on character development for the majority of the Transformers - most criminally the Decepticons, who are basically mindless thugs. But still, there were plenty of bits I still enjoyed: the alleyway scene where the Autobots introduce themselves stands out, they all get a little bit of character development a la the old Marvel comics - more scenes like that definitely wouldn't have gone amiss. Also, I liked Bumblebee's story arc; it would have been nice if they'd established a few more of the Transformer's characters and motivations to the same extent, but these were forgivable crimes for a film attempting to introduce the franchise to a new audience; it was a comfortable 6/10.

 

My hope was that these flaws would be addressed in the sequel, but as I had cooled to the first film so much, I didn't really make any effort to see ROTF until an old friend asked if I wanted to see it with him as his wife had no interest in giant robots battering each other; having not seen him in an age, despite having read the appalling reviews from the press and fans alike, I said yes. Ultimately, I went into this film with low, low expectations but nothing could prepare me for what I was about to witness...

 

 

 

...The only way I can think of to describe the overall effect of sitting through this movie is that it's similar to a car crash colliding with a train wreck, then careening directly into your IQ; watching this will knock off a good ten to twenty points.

 

Where to begin? Let's say the script: I was hoping Kurtzman and Orci's worst excesses would be tempered by the studio giving them a scriptwriting partner, but no: the "plot" - although it's degrading to masterpieces of storytelling such as Alvin and the Chipmunks to call it that - now veers from MacGuffin to MacGuffin with little to no explanation as to incidental details such as 'how' and 'why'; Megan Fox can get from L.A. to Washington in less than 10 minutes by car, just in time to fend off a marauding Terminatrix escaped from the storage shed for Terminator 3 props. The Pyramids at Ghiza are now located exactly opposite the Temple of Karnak, which is alongside Al Khazneh (which, fact fans, is actually in Petra, Jordan) - further, they are all located conveniently next to a beach in a landlocked geographical region so the US army can invade Egypt to liberate it from the Decepticons, provided they can make it past the Oompa Loompa guarding the border next to the Sphinx. Not that doing so should pose any problems, he lets Agent Simmons and co. past on the pretext that they're from New York without even checking their documentation, despite the fact that an A.P.B. has been circulated in Egypt for their arrest because new villain The Fallen has demanded that L.A. turn over Shia LeBeouf for brain extraction. What? Apparently, no archaelogists have ever examined Al Khazneh, or they may have noticed the incongruous Neoclassical wall fresco hiding the Tomb of the Primes (yes, really). Likewise, no-one ever noticed the Sun Destroyer MacGuffin, suddenly wheeled out as the important plot point thing in the last three minutes, hidden in the pyramid because no-one's ever examined or looked inside those, have they?

 

The dialogue is roundly appalling: the voice actors for the Transformers, especially the Autobots, because at least Starscream and Megatron get some good repartee going, seem to be literally choking over their dialogue. Gone are the nice incidental scenes from the first film of the robots acting as fully fleshed out characters (see above), instead they appear, utter crass one-liners such as 'punk-ass Decepticon', 'damn, I'm good', 'pull over', etc., then dissappear never to be seen again. They all sound and act like prepubescents smacktalking on Halo 3, even Optimus Prime.

 

The Twins. Dear Christ Almighty, the Twins. They go beyond annoying, beyond poor design and dialogue, straight into the territory of racist stereotypes: they're identifiably meant to be black adolescents (or at least the white middle class filmmaker's idea of black kids), but are effectively giant metallic black and white Minstrels; dropping a pair of robotic Golliwogs into the film may have been less offensive, at least they're loveable in their own Victorian casual racism sort of way. These characters are apparently the result of a triumvarate of white scriptwriters, special effects designers and director all letting their own latent racism shine through. First they can't be bothered to fact-check their work (remember the 'Laurentian Abyss' clanger from part 1 - the Marianas Trench is actually the deepest point on earth by about a mile), now they think crass stereotypes are ok, nobody'll mind. It's meant to be cute and funny. Like the Minstrel shows were 50 years ago. Also check out the Agent Simmons Indentikit Ethnic Delicatessen Scene, especially the black guy with the bad teeth; it's not just the robot black people in this film who get portrayed as goggle-eyed buck-toothed freaks, the real ones do too.

 

The film's treatment of women is equally appalling; Megan Fox = sex object? Check. Mom = dippy fool who gets high on hash brownies so that forced hilarity may ensue? Check. College girls, real or robotic, = sex-hungry sluts one and all? Check. God only knows what Tuckman and Adorno would say about this...

 

Also, the special effects aren't that special, frankly. The first transformation in the film, Ironhide, is the best: it's jaw-droppingly good and 100% photorealistic - pure awesome win. The same goes for Sideswipe's first (and pretty much only) appearance: it's amazing; unfortunately, as the film progresses, things get progressively worse - motion blur is used to cover unfinished frames of animation; extreme close-ups allow the animators to skip rendering full characters, just select parts of them; by the time Devastator appears, he looks like a videogame render - and don't get me started on his wrecking ball testicles. WHY?!! I suspect the problem lies with Bay rather than ILM; he obvioulsy didn't brief them on the workload he expected and they concurrently didn't have the staff or time to do this justice; the fact that they required three times in terabyte strength for their servers attests to that. Another possible effect of this is some really uninspired design work for the majority of the new characters: Megatron has a fantastic torso and legs (very War Within), but little frail chopstick arms and hands that don't match. Where ILM couldn't be bothered to design a full robot, the lower half is a wheel, i.e Arcee or Demolishor; Blackout gets recycled as Grindor, confusing most of the audience. Soundwave is effectively a nicely animated satellite-humping head which says Frank Welker things in the hope that fans won't notice how cack the film is.

 

On the upside, the score is again fantastic. Save some money by not seeing this film and instead buy some of the nice toys, especially Human Alliance, that are coming out and get the soundtrack; then use them to act out your own sequel - it will be infintely superior to this mess. 'Roadhouse' was a film with similar deficiencies that somehow managed to be enjoyably awful; this doesn't even manage to be 'so bad it's good' - ROTF is just bad full stop. In years to come, when James Cameron's Avatar trilogy has rewritten the special effects rulebook, this will be studied in film schools in a similar manner to Ed Wood's 'Plan 9 From Outer Space' - ultimately with the latter being held up as the better film.

You know what... Yea. I agree.

 

 

 

And I am excited to se the avatar movie's. I'm just curious as to what twist's M. Knight Shamalamalawn will have at the end of the movie....... Is the avatar really a 80 year old space alian fron Detroit?

You know what... Yea. I agree.

 

 

 

And I am excited to se the avatar movie's. I'm just curious as to what twist's M. Knight Shamalamalawn will have at the end of the movie....... Is the avatar really a 80 year old space alian fron Detroit?

Wait...two separate movies:

 

James Cameron's Avatar is a different movie from M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender.

First off, I liked the original film - I saw it at the midnight opening and went back four, yes FOUR times after that; getting it on DVD and seeing it on my own terms, not Michael Bay's made me lose some love for it: it is after all tenuously plotted, for every good robot design there's a lame one, light on character development for the majority of the Transformers - most criminally the Decepticons, who are basically mindless thugs. But still, there were plenty of bits I still enjoyed: the alleyway scene where the Autobots introduce themselves stands out, they all get a little bit of character development a la the old Marvel comics - more scenes like that definitely wouldn't have gone amiss. Also, I liked Bumblebee's story arc; it would have been nice if they'd established a few more of the Transformer's characters and motivations to the same extent, but these were forgivable crimes for a film attempting to introduce the franchise to a new audience; it was a comfortable 6/10.

I read the rest of your critique for ROTF...but don't think I saw a number score anywhere. So how would you rate it?

You know what... Yea. I agree.

 

 

 

And I am excited to se the avatar movie's. I'm just curious as to what twist's M. Knight Shamalamalawn will have at the end of the movie....... Is the avatar really a 80 year old space alian fron Detroit?

 

Errr... either that last bit was a joke, in which case ROFL, but in case it isn't James Cameron's Avatar has nothing to do with the cartoon series Avatar: The Last Airbender, or Legend of Ang, depending on territory: Shamalamadingdong's film is based on the series is currently titled 'The Last Airbender' for simplicity (I'd have gone with The Legend of Ang, but then again I don't work in Hollywood and actually have common sense...).

 

Cameron's Avatar is a Sci-Fi war epic ten years in the making involving murderous humans attempting to stripmine a world inhabited by an apparently primitive alien civilization who are aided by crippled human war veteran Sam Worthington, given a second lease of life through a remotely operated 'Avatar' resembling the aliens.

 

Also forgot to mention: the one thing that stopped me walking out other than my friend who was happily watching ROTF apparently as equally oblivious as everyone in the cinema but me (packed house two weeks after release, horrifyingly enough) as to how awful it was, was Jetfire. I was pretty much ready to leave, but then this insane geriatric British SR-71 Blackbird jet, complete with landing gear walking stick and robotic beard, appears and starts hurling British swear words like 'bugger' and 'bollocks' about in a working-class London accent while destroying the Smithsonian. That totally saved the film for me; at last a respectable, accurate British hero - even if he is a million-year-old alien robot for whom it makes no logical sense to be British. More surreal humour like that would have gone a long way, rather than wrecking 'balls' and leg-humping robots (what? what?! WHAT?!!?). In fact, the accents seem to work: I really liked Wheelie and his 'Neuw Joisey' accent right up to the Warrior-Goddess-Leg-Hump scene...

 

EDIT:

I read the rest of your critique for ROTF...but don't think I saw a number score anywhere. So how would you rate it?

2/10; Both of those stars are for Jetfire acting like a drunk British machinist after hours in the pub. It would have gotten another point for Wheelie had it not been for the leg-humping scene, but would probably have still been dragged down by Jetfire, the only good character, being apparently the only named major character to die: for the love of God kill the Twins, kill Megan Fox (please with a cherry on top, she really annoys me), kill anyone except Sideswipe, but why did you have to take Jetfire, Bay?! Damn you to HELL!! There is now NOTHING to look foward to in Transformers 3: Revenge of the Audience...

I tentatively named the next one Transformers 3:The Search For More Money!

 

Revenge of the Audience works quite nicely, though. :lol

Ahhh that avatar.... Umm wait..... google..... imdb.......

 

Plot summary for

Avatar (2009) More at IMDbPro »

advertisementIn the future, Jake, a paraplegic war veteran, is brought to another planet, Pandora, which is inhabited by the Na'vi, a humanoid race with their own language and culture. Those from Earth find themselves at odds with each other and the local culture. Written by Giorgio_C

 

 

 

Wait a secondddddd.... Wasn't that an episode of "the outer limits"?

 

 

Google help me now!....

 

14. Caught In the Act - June 23, 1995

 

A woman's encounter with an alien creature makes her lust for men.

 

 

wait not that one...

 

 

Uggghhh I know it's there somewhere I will keep looking...

This is rapidly getting out of hand in terms of just how much criticism I've written for this film, but I just realized I missed this in the initial post: was anyone else depressed at the nonentity pantomime villain that was The Fallen?

 

Firstly, in a film called 'Transformers', where he is supposed to be one of the original transformers, he doesn't transform into anything! Secondly, the toaster in Sam's kitchen seemed to have a better developed character: Kutzman and Orci, the blights of modern filmmaking, stated in Empire magazine that they were lured back to do this one by remembering sequels like Aliens and Empire Strikes Back - indeed, they seem to have thrown Darth Vader and the Alien Queen in a blender and poured the result into the film - a depressingly identikit villain with no real motivation, or mystery, or potential for redemption: certainly zero character development, little more than an excuse to sell kids the Jetfire and Optimus combiners introduced in a scene that looked like an outtake from Matrix Revolutions.

 

The worst thing? Kurtzman, Orci and Krueger were payed $8,000,000 - EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS - for the script to this; I've seen 11-year-olds come up with far better fan fiction; this has got to stop.

"The Outer Limits" Rule of Law (2001)

 

I think this one... I know I have seen another show with aliens called the Navi and a simular plot...

 

 

 

 

I am actually trying to block the whole TF2 thing from my mind... It reminds me of Highlander 2: the appology...

"The Outer Limits" Rule of Law (2001)

 

I think this one... I know I have seen another show with aliens called the Navi and a simular plot...

 

The original 'scriptment' leaked shortly after he submitted it about eight years ago; the current draft is very different, apparently - but it is conceivable that someone ripped off the original treatment...