Maccadams Old Oil House is a transfomer bar where all are invited and is never devided. Autobots and Decepticons alike go to drink the oil in Cybertron's best knownbar. The only rule is that all grudges are kept outside.

 

It is rumored that the manager might be one of the original 13 Transformers. And that this bar exist outside of normal space and time. So lets see a parody of what could happen if different Autobot leaders met here from different times and realities!

 

PART 1

 

 

G1 Optimus enters Maccadams to spend some time alone and have some drinks. It has been a few months after The Great War was over and peace now exist for now in Cybertron. He finds a table and sits down.

 

G1 Opt: "Waiter! I want to order your best oil!"

 

Waiter: "Coming right up sir!"

 

G1 Opt: "Thank you! (waiter leaves) I haven't been here for so long! It's been millions of years!"

 

Voice from behind: "Optimus Prime!? Is this really you?"

 

G1 Opt turns his head : " Yes I am, who are you?"

 

Optimal Opt (BW): "I am Optimal Optimus your decendant and greatest admirer"

 

G1 Opt : " I think you had enough drinks already my friend. Perhaps you should call a friend"

 

Optimal : " No I haven't had any drinks yet, I don't know how I wound up here. One minute I am in my ship back to Cybertron and went into transwarp then I show up here"

 

G1 Opt: "Have you been sucking on raw energon lately or something?"

 

Optimal: "No. May I have a seat here?"

 

G1 Opt: " Well I was planning having a drink ALONE!"

 

Optimal : "Well that is just Prime! I thought you were different, guess I was wrong."

 

Waiter : " Here is your drink sir. Oh! Will this gentleman be joining you sir?"

 

G1 and Optimal look at each other. A tear runs down Optimal's metallic cheek.

 

G1 Opt: "Yes, yes waiter he will be joining me. (sigh)"

 

Waiter: "What can I bring you?"

 

Optimal: " I'll have the same as him. (waiter leaves). So how are you doing?"

 

G1 Opt.: "Fine thank you. You know what? Now I have this strange feeling that we met before?"

 

Optimal: " Well we did in your past. I was on earth when you and the others were in stasis. Then a Megatron from my time blew your head apart. Then I took the Matrix and saved your life and got this new body in the process. Maybe the Matrix remembers me or something"

 

G1 Opt: "My head was blown up!!?

 

Optimal: "Oh yeah, it was quite nasty you had circuits from face hagging out everywhere. I mean I have seen holograms of Bludgeon, and boy compared to how you looked his face looked better!"

PART 2 (coming soon, watch for edit)

 

Waiter: " Here is your drink sir." He hands it to Optimal.

 

G1 Optimus takes his first big gulp. Followed by Optimal.

 

G1 Optimus: " So let me get this straight. You went back in time with a crew to earth. You stop a new Megatron from destroying me and apparently won. Why didn't you take or destroy the spark of the Megatron of my time?"

 

Optimal : " There is no honor in that and it would have disrupted time." (with a concerned face)

 

G1 Opt: "No honor!? Don't talk about honor to me! I represent honor! You let a maniac continue existing in which caused countless lives lost, Autobot and Decepticons died because of him!"

 

Optimal: "So you would have prefered that I acted like a Predacon!?"

 

G1 Opt: "I would want you to act like a leader and take actions that would have saved countless lives. I can't believe you are related to me!" (takes a big gulp of his drink :beer )

 

Optimal squeezes his mug with his huge hands as he also takes a gulp.

 

A new voice : "Excuse me, but are guys Optimuses?"

 

G1 Opt.: "Yes we are! Why? Are you related to me to?" (sarcasm)

 

Optimal : " If he is lucky he WONT be"

 

New Voice: " Well, no I don't think so. I am Optimus Prime also! (Armada Prime). Mind if I join you?"

 

G1 Opt. " Sure why not, lets hear your story"

 

Waiter returns : "Would the gentleman like a drink also?"

 

A. Prime : "Yes I'll have the same as them, thank you."

 

Waiter leaves after refilling first two Optimuses mugs.

 

A. Prime : " I just came here to relax a bit. A big war just finished with Megatron and Unicron and I needed a drink. Thank goodness there are no human kids here!"

 

G1 Opt : " I know what you mean! They often get in the way and get in trouble and need rescuing. First it was Spike then his son Daniel! Couldn't get break! Except while the whole time I was dead."

 

Optimal: "That right! Megatron beat the bolts out of you! To bad you didn't finish the job with him. Who knows how many lives you could have saved!" (smirks and takes a big gulp :beer )

 

A. Prime : " Am I missing something here?"

 

G1 Opt : "No, unlike robo monkey here, you seem to have a spine!" (takes a gulp :beer )

 

Optimal : "Oh yeah Optimus, how would like to be missing your head again!"

 

Waiter arrives with A. Prime's drink.

 

Waiter : "Here is your drink sir." He leaves

 

A. Prime takes a big gulp :beer

 

A. Prime : " Guys I don't know what is going on, but remember we are all comrades here!"

 

To be continued...

If you look carefully, you can see a few Seekers, and Arcee in the background. and the Pretenders are there along with Tantrum and Sixshot (all g1)

If you look carefully, you can see a few Seekers, and Arcee in the background. and the Pretenders are there along with Tantrum and Sixshot (all g1)

You are right there are a lot og G1 there, which I noticed to.

Part 3

 

 

G1 Opt: "You are right we should not act this way, let me buy you your next drink Optimal."

 

Optimal: "That will be just Prime, Optimus!"

 

A. Prime: "That's more like it!" (finishes his first mug :beer)

 

G1 Opt. and Optimal finish up their second mug :beer

 

Waiter returns and refills all their mugs.

 

G1 Opt.: " So you also just finished a great war too, have many casualties?" asking A. Prime.

 

A. Prime: "Fortunatly not that many, thank Primus for the Minicons"

 

Optimal: "The Minicons?"

 

A. Prime: "Yeah, like the one I have on my arm. They help unleash our hidden power."

 

G1 Opt. "Hey looks like Bumblebee from my Universe!" (takes a gulp :beer)

 

Optimal: "I see you have another one on your leg." (takes a slurp :beer)

 

A. Prime: "What!? Get off my leg you little creep! That is not my Minicon!"

 

Minicon: "hee hee hee hee" As it runs away

Careful. Over-Runwas also Prime's too you know.....

continued..

 

 

A. Prime: "Those Minicons can be annoying sometimes! But the human kids are the worst!"

 

Optimal : "I am glad to say I never had to deal with them directly." (takes a slurp :beer )

 

G1 Opt. : " In my case, I dealt with a young human named Spike. He tried to tell me what to do a couple of times. Then I would tell him 'Spike if you want to lead, then here! Take the Matrix and put it in your chest! Oh I am sorry, I forgot you are not a robot and you BREAK easily' that usually shut him up" (takes a gulp :beer )

 

A. Prime: : "You lucky you only had one, I had a platoon of those imature water sacks! They think they are transformers and have the right to decide what we should do." (takes a final slurp :beer )

 

G1 Opt: "Hah, reminds of the time when Spike got hurt and we had to operate on him. So for kicks we transfered his personality to a robot made of left over parts.

The guy went crazy! I still enjoy watching the video. He looked like a junkion."

 

Waiter returns and refills their mugs.

 

A new voice : "Hey is this some kind of Prime convention going on here! Because if you are you can't have one without me!"

 

G1 Opt : "How many different realities are there!?"

 

Optimal : " Starting to get a little crowded in this table!"

 

A Prime : "Welcome friend have a seat!"

 

RID Prime: "Don't mind if I do! Can't stay long though, I am mostly here for the fembots and drinks. Fembots can't resist firetruck robots !" :punch

 

All first three Optimuses take a big gulp with an annoyed look. :beer

 

RID Prime: "Waiter! Over here! (waiter arrives), yeah I'll have the same as them! Yeah, I just finished wiping the floor with Galvatron. He had ten different modes but now he has new one. Courtesy of yours truly, now he has a mop mode! Hah ha ha! (only one laughing). So what were you guys talking about?"

 

Waiter returns with RID Prime's drink. He immediatly drinks the whole mug :beer

 

G1 Opt: "Only about annoying persons we have encountered." (takes a gulp :beer)

 

Optimal: "Yeah, they seem to pop up when you least expect it" ( takes a gulp :beer )

 

 

To be continued....

"Tales from the Oil House" I like it. Keep it up.

Continued...

 

 

A Prime: "Yeah, we were talking about annoying human kids (ahem). Do you have any in your reality?" ( finishes his drink :beer )

 

Waiter returns and refills their drinks.

 

Rid Prime: "Yeah, I had one little annoying squirt! He always was like 'When are going to save my dad! I miss my daddy. Boo Hoo.' So to keep him distracted I had a hologram of a young female made. Didn't ask about daddy much after that." ( drinks half his mug :beer )

 

A Prime: "How is that distracting?"

 

G1 Prime: "You are kidding right? ( looking at A. Prime ). It's like when you see a really nice looking fembot when you are suppose to be doing something else." (takes a slurp :beer )

 

Optimal: "I didn't have any human kids, but I did had a lot of eye candy. Blackarachnia and Airazor, now those were some real fembots!" (takes a slurp :beer )

 

G1 Prime: " I am involved with one, her name is Elita-1. We go way back, each time I see her I feel like the Matrix is going to explode in my chest." (take a sip :beer )

 

A Prime: "That was beautiful! I wish I had a fembot companion." ( puts both hands over face)

 

RID Prime: "Hey, cheer up guy! You are in luck that I am here! I have a way with the fembots. I am sure I can help you find someone here. " (finishes drink :beer )

 

A Prime: " I'll be okay, thanks for the offer!" (finishes drink :beer )

 

Another new voice: "Wow never seen so many Primes together!"

 

2nd new voice : "Mind if we join you?"

 

G1 Prime : "Sorry guys as you can see there is only one seat. (finishes drink :beer )

 

A. Prime : "Prowl, Rodimus? What are you guys doing here? Aren't you guys supposed to be exploring the galaxy or something?"

 

Rodimus: "We are back, but I'll explain everything once we sit down."

 

Optimal: "As Optimus explained there is only one seat." (finishes his drink :beer )

 

Rodimus: "Not a problem. RODIMUS PROWL POWERLINK!"

 

They jump in the air, almost hitting the ceiling. Flashing lights and music coming from nowhere appear.

 

Optimal : "Oh Primus! My optic scensors! I can't see!"

 

G1 Prime: "Turn that racket OFF!"

 

A Prime: murmurs "show off"

 

RID Prime: "That was awesome my friend! Now that is what I am talking about! Its all about presentation! Waiter! We need more drinks and bring one for my new friend here! It's on me!"

 

Rodimus : " I'll have anything that you have two for one special"

 

Waiter brings all their drinks.

 

To be continued... (no more primes or leaders, I promise)

Continued...

 

 

A. Prime: "Waiter before you leave I like to order some apetizers. "

 

Waiter: " Yes sir, what would you like?"

 

A. Prime: " I have the Lazerbeak Hotwings and some Energon Curly Fries"

 

Waiter: "Will that be all?"

 

Rodimus: "Watch what you eat Prime, you are going to gain weight! Trust me I know!"

 

A. Prime: "Why don't worry about yourself, you planet hopping hippie!" ( Takes a slurp :beer )

 

Optimal: " Hey, remember what you said "we are all comrades here" (takes a slurp :beer )

 

G1 Prime: "Yeah Prime, lets all get along!" (sarcastically as he takes a slurp :beer )

 

Rodimus: "It's okay guys, it's probably the oil talking."

 

A Prime : "I can handle my oil just fine! Just can handle some so called leader wannabee who only shows up when the fight is over and wants some spotlight!"

 

Rodimus: "Hey look your order is here! Eat up! I'll even order another order for ya!"

 

RID Prime: "I see there is a lot of friction here. It reminds me of me and my brother Ultra Magnus. We didn't get along for a while but we worked things out and now we are a fembot spark breaking team." (slurps :beer )

 

Armada Prime starts woofing his order down and eats it all by himself.

 

A. Prime : "I'm sorry anybody wanted some?"

 

G1 Prime : "Thats okay, I'm fine"

 

Optimal: "Ditto"

 

Rid Prime: "Nah, trying to stay in shape."

 

Rodimus: "Eat all you want! ......robo pig (in low voice)"

 

A Prime: " I don't feel so good all of a sudden" :wtf :puke

 

Armada Prime falls from his chair and starts glowing!

 

Optimal : "Oh my Primus! what is happening!"

 

Rodimus: "I am sure he's fine" :mwahaha

 

G1 Prime talking to Armada Prime: "Transform! And roll out to the deposit room!"(bathroom)

 

Rid Prime: "I hope he's okay, but gotta admit he is making a cool light show!"

 

Armada Prime gets up and all the others gasp at him :eek2 :tfhuh :eek :inheek

 

To Be Continued......