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transformers: morons in disguise

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Megatron: FWOOSH!!! aw f*ck it. i assume you're alpha-Q




Megatron: your food problem is not any of my concern! i demand you return to me my sword!!!!! *summons a hoarde of Divebombs which quickly surround Alpha-Q*


Alpha-Q: WE'RE SURROUNDED! AND WITH OUR TERRORCONS!!! it would appear we are outnumbered. we had better EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!!! HELL NO! WE'RE ESCAPING


*Alpha-Q makes a break for it but megatron grabs the cord thing the leads out of the top of A-Q's head. A-Q struggles and escapes but he drops Megatron's sword when he fumbles. he quickly gets up and runs away*


Megatron: ah. my sword. this one's real. yesssss......


Cyclonus: yessss? when did Megatron say that before?


Tidal Wave: Tidal Wave does not care......




Megatron: Alpha-Q must have escaped through that doorway *runs through the hall and discovers that Unicron's head is now missing* NOOOO!! HE GOT AWAY!!!!


Scorponok: mmmmmfmfmfmfmfmfmmmmm


Tidal Wave: Scorponok say "Alpha-Q will come back some day".


Megatron: take Scorponok to the healing chamber. as he is now a decepticon, he must be fighting-fit in order to be of any use.


Tidal Wave: yes master.....


*some unknown asteroid base*


Hot Rod: it still kinda scares me that we are the last of the ancient transformers


Wreck Gar: and you too can own these ancient replicas for the unbelievably low price of $499.99!!!!!!


Wheelie: too much! cash and such!


Blurr: thatad'sarip-off.nobody'sgonnabuyit


Hot Rod: and i'm surrounded by complete morons


Grimlock: me grimlock not moron! me Grimlock king!


*autobot HQ*


Optimus: Zordon, report


Primus: *sigh* my name is PRIMUS! but i cannot detect any terrorcons so you're safe for now


Optimus: good. *falls over and takes a nap*

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  • 2 weeks later...

time now for a new chapter. sorry for the huge wait. school never stops eating freetime. anyhoo, TIME FOR MORE TF ANTICS!


*Unicron's head*


Alpha-Q: Megatron has taken control of our base and our terrorcons. i fear the mission may be jepordizedNEVER! WE SHALL CONTINUE TO FIGHT! THERE IS A WAY TO WIN! I JUST NOW IT!*sob* MY FOOD WAS IN OUR OLD BASE! I HAVE NOTHING TO EAT!!!! i have comletely forgotten WE also have terrorcons in this head. we shall use them to return the energon.

and I have an idea too! COME FOURTH, MY NEW SOLDIER!!!


*Starscream Forms*


Starscream: .....i can see through my hands. is this normal? ACK! what are you?!?!


Alpha-Q: i have created you with some of the energon i planned to eat. do not fail me or i'll eat YOU instead. we need you to lead our new set of Terrorcons to steal back all the energon we lost. go to Unicron's torso and take all the energon and the fridges in the back room. I NEED TO EAT!!!


Starscream: uh....right. but this see-thru thing. it's normal, right?


Alpha-Q: i have no clue really. nobody cares anyway.


Starscream: fine fine fine. TERRORCONS, FOLLOW ME! *flies off with Divebombs carrying Cruellocks.*


*damaged-beyond-repair G1 Autobot shuttle*


Hot Rod: *sigh* day 126. we are still adrift in space with no sign of any planet. my teammates are losing all sanity they may have had and only Kup is still normal. i fear the worst has come.




Kup: shut up, Blurr.


Wheelie: Blurr's becoming scrap. he's already talking crap!


Blurr: it's-true-i-swear-it's-big-and-has-horns-and


Grimlock: me Grimlock has huge headache from Blurr's talking!


Wreck Gar: pops-a-dent can take ANY dents out of your car! try now and we'll include the scartch remover. an UNBELIEVABLY low price of just $500.00!!!! so try it on that new Mazda RX-8 today!!!


Hot Rod: did you say "RX-8"?


Kup: yeah he did. why?


Hot Rod: that must be a new car. maybe Wreck Gar's TV is picking up a nearby signal somewhere. Wreck Gar, show us your TV.


Wreck Gar: *holds his TV up which is displaying the news of that present day.*


Hot rod: HOLY SH*T! it's the year 2004 in Earth years ALREADY?!?!?! we've been adrift for 2 decades!


Wreck Gar: transformers! energon! Earth;s energon is mine. not so fast, Scorponok! attack with hyper power! here's your energon! i'll be back! transformers energon figures. each sold seperately actual change time will vary.


hot Rod: energon? Kup, i think this ship's radar still works. try and find where Earth is!


Kup: i can always try and reactivate the radar if it IS disabled


Wheelie: you know what i need. give me some weed!


Hot rod: you had enough weed today, wheelie.


Kup: i have found Earth. but uh.....did anyone notice Unicron's head is next to us and we've begun to orbit it?


Blurr: see?-i-told-you-there-was-an-obstacle!!!


*Decepticon base*


Megatron: Alpha-Q had no decent startegies. we should have twice the amount of energon that we have now


scorponok: he does have good strategies. but his white face eats half of what they find........


Tidal Wave: must find kids......


Megatron: oh don't worry, tidal Wave. you'll have plenty of time to shoot at the children when we invade Earth.


*tidal Wave sneaks away to Autobot HQ*


Cyclonus: Energon? *pokes a pile of energon and glows* AUUGHHHAHAHAHAHA!!! *BOOM!* ARGH! MY WHOLE DAMN BODY!!! *turns into snowcat*


Snowcat: what....am i?




Snowcat: what's so funny?


Megatron: heh heh heh.....when are you....due? *snort* HAHAHAAAA!!!!


Demolishor: yeah! i hope you have a healthy baby!


Scorponok: boy or girl?


Snowcat: *looks down* oh dear god. I'M PREGNANT!!! but......i'm a male. i can;t be pregnant!


Megatron: and Prime's always either a fatass, a gobot truck, or a megazord. face it. most transformers in this era have problems. however i'm based on Galvatron from the ancient transformer race. so i'm better than you all.



*Autobot Base*


Hot Shot: Optimus. wake up Optimus. you fell asleep in front of Primus again.


Optimus: oh. whoops. what's up?


Hot Shot: Tidal Wave's here. he hasn;t done any damage yet but we don't know why he came.


Kicker: what the- TIDAL WAVE!


Tidal Wave: must find kids..... kicker..... *picks up Kicker and goes to leave*


Kicker: AH!!! HEY PUT ME DOWN!!!!


Optimus: Tidal Wave!!! Kicker had nothing to do with any of this. put him down!


Tidal Wave: tidal Wave has kid.....


Optimus: where do you plan on taking him


tidal Wave: to Tidal wave's house. we go now *retreats*


Optimus: oh god... Dr. Jones is going to kill me. i'm leaving. i have to protect Kicker at all costs *holds up left arm* IT'S MORPHIN TIME!


*the other autobots shake their heads in dishonor and shame*

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Classic. Keep it up.

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  • 1 month later...

*todal Wave flies up close to space*


Kicker: *frees himself from Tidal Wave's hold and freefalls* GRINDOR, CATCH ME!!!!! *makes a splashdown in the ocean.* DAMMIT WHERE'S THAT STUPIDASS MINICON?!?!?!!?



Grindor: *takes another sip of corona and passes out*



Optimus: oh kicker. you're allright.


Kicker: of course i am. my raging testosterone helped me get back safely. now i'm just soaked.


Optimus: did you encounter any putty troops?


Kicker: ....putty troops?


Optimus: you didn't? oh good


*the G1 asteroid crashes into the ocean*


Hot Rod: ba weep gramou weep ninybon!


Hot Shot: er....ticky tacky toocky too........


Hot Rod: Kup, they don't know the universal greeting.


Inferno: oh THAT'S what that incoherant babbling is? that greeting is out of style nowadays.


Ironhide: why's that little red dude wandering around in circles?


Wheelie: i have jet lag you stupid Punch!


Optimus: so what brings you to ocean city, ancient transformers?


Hot Rod: we've been stranded adrift for exactly 2 decades. now we finally came back.


Optimus: fine. you can have rooms here. next to Jetfire's quarters. i think there are still vacant rooms there


Wreck Gar: a message from the office of dr. James Sokolov on mesothelioma! mesothelioma is a rare, malignant type of-


*Grimlock whacks Wreck Gar*


Grimlock: me Grimlock not want to hear about human disease. me grimlock want money!!!!


Wheelie: money i lack and i want some crack!


Jetfire: hey you can have some of my secret stash, little guy!


Blurr: crack-is-bad-drugs-are-all-bad-we-should-focus-on-our-mission-shouldn't-we-focus?-i-think-we-should-focus-do-you-think-we-should-focus?-huh?-huh?-huh?


Kup: later.....



Alpha-Q: is that blubbering idiot starscream back? i haven't heard from him yet.... HE HAS BETRAYED US!!!!! I'LL STARVE FOR SURE!!!! SHUT UP!!!! YOUR BOTTOMLESS STOMACH IS THE LEAST OF OUR CONCERNS RIGHT NOW YOU BAFFOON!!!! he's right. we must think only about the energon collecting. and Starscream must return in order to continue with the operation.....



Snowcat: yodlatdehoooyodleyodleayyodlooooo!!!!! THIS FORM IS GREAT!!!! except for the pregnant part..... but i can move again!!!!!


Megatron: *closes wings over himself* FWOOOSH!!!! am i invisible yet?


Tidal Wave: ....no


Megatron: POONUTS!!!! i'll never be invisible!!!! has anyone seen demolishor?


Tidal wave: Demolishor is on guard duty at ocean city for the autobots.


Megatron: ....someone go get him for me.


Snow Cat: he said he'll only come back when you have been revived.


Megatron: and look. i'm revived.


Snow Cat: but HE doesn't know that.


Megatron: fine...i'll go get him....i have to do everything around here *grumble grumble*



Demolishor: i can;t stand being guard any longer! i wanna go and see the world!! i wanna do stuff!!


Hot Shot: but we pay you lots of money


Demolishor: no you don't. i like being a Decepticon more! I QUIT!

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It's about time you posted more! what took you? This is excellent! You should post a warning. Don't drink rootbeer and read this at the sametime.

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Guest JetStorm # 1

Not as good as My I am Unicron. Just WEIRD! :tdown :tdown :tdown :tdown :tdown :tdown :tdown :tdown :tdown :tdown


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and how would you like it if i posted in your fic dissing it too?


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