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How would you Remake the three Transformers movies


John TheDon Horton
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How about having some revenge in ROTF? Bay took the badass Decepticons in the first movie and transformed them into pussies. You don't feel like the heroes are in danger when they are capable of slaughtering like 30 dudes untouched. Was the Fallen's revenge supposed to be Prime's death? Freaking weak. How about a movie that sympathizes with the Decepticons as they struggle to free themselves of the murderous Autobots? DOTM just made it worse. Decepticons may have been cruel and vicious, but they are god damn weak as hell. Megatron was made weak. The Fallen was uber weak. Starscream was weak. Everybody except Bonecrusher died like a bitch.

 

Blackout: shot in the groin=bitch

Brawl: killed by humans=bitch

Megatron: killed by a human/executed like a=bitch

Jetfire: committed suicide=bitch

Ravage: fatality=bitch

Rampage: bitch kicked to the back of the head=bitch

Devastator: killed by offscreen humans=bitch

Demolishor: executed like a punk/like a=bitch

Sideways: murdered while running away=bitch

Soundwave: failed trying to execute someone who was on their knees with their back turned=bitch

etc

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  • 2 weeks later...

How about having some revenge in ROTF? Bay took the badass Decepticons in the first movie and transformed them into pussies. You don't feel like the heroes are in danger when they are capable of slaughtering like 30 dudes untouched. Was the Fallen's revenge supposed to be Prime's death? Freaking weak. How about a movie that sympathizes with the Decepticons as they struggle to free themselves of the murderous Autobots? DOTM just made it worse. Decepticons may have been cruel and vicious, but they are god damn weak as hell. Megatron was made weak. The Fallen was uber weak. Starscream was weak. Everybody except Bonecrusher died like a bitch.

 

Blackout: shot in the groin=bitch

Brawl: killed by humans=bitch

Megatron: killed by a human/executed like a=bitch

Jetfire: committed suicide=bitch

Ravage: fatality=bitch

Rampage: bitch kicked to the back of the head=bitch

Devastator: killed by offscreen humans=bitch

Demolishor: executed like a punk/like a=bitch

Sideways: murdered while running away=bitch

Soundwave: failed trying to execute someone who was on their knees with their back turned=bitch

etc

 

Couldn't have (possibly) said it better myself, and I've been saying it for years. No one gives a flying f**k about your heroes or your movie if your villains are about as effective as an army of Clay Aikens. The Autobots were never in any danger at all and came across as the Mongol hordes running roughshod over the city of Skokie.

 

The biggest sin of the series was making Megatron an unadulterated, simpering, weakened vagina. To this day, I can't imagine why he was portrayed in this fashion. In DOTM, Megs was channelling G1 Scavenger.

 

This should never happen. Ever.

Edited by ShellformerV1
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Yeah, it's sad when the most badass bad guy is an Autobot. Sentinel single handedly murdered Ironhide in cold blood. He's better at being a Con then the Cons!

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I somehow forgot:

 

Starscream: killed by a human=bitch

Shockwave: Not killed like a bitch necessarily (getting beat down tho), but his death was supplemented by him being blinded by a parachute. A PARACHUTE TOOK HIM OUT!=bitch!

 

I also forgot to mention that aside from Sentinel, Laserbeak was a genuinely awesome Decepticon. With his ruthlessness, his kill count and the way he died wasn't like that of a biatch.

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