I went out tonight, just to pick up a couple of things from the store. It was raining fairly hard, and there are no busses on sunday. (it's okay, the store is just across the road.) SO, I make my way over to the stoe, and manage to get inside. Now, USUALLY, sunday evenings, especially rainy ones around here, mean that few people are out at the store. There are no big sales that I know of, and it's still 3-4 hours before closing time. And since the store is Target, with only a pantry section not a full grocery, there shouldn't have been that many people in that section, let alone that store, all things given.

It's at this point that logic failed me....


The store was filled with WALL TO WALL shoppers, all in the bleeping pantry area!! I almost got nailed TWICE by little brats with grocery carts; an old lady kept asking me to "go in back and see if they had any more bread (I had a BLUE shirt on, not a Target RED one, mind you!), and most of the shoppers (mainly women in their early 40's) were "power walking" up and down the aisles, AND THEY ALL SEEMED TO BE AIMING FOR ME!!!


To make matters worse, the people they had working on the sales floor were not particluarly helpful; most of them had that "glazed-over-I don't-want-to-be-here" look. And asking them any sort of question, their typical response was: "uhhhh...." (now, I used to work in a retail store and a grocery store, so I can sympathize with having a glazed over look, but I wasn't THAT brain-dead!!!)


Needless to say, by the time I got rung-out and bagged, I was ready to commit murder. All I have to say is: the next time I go grocery shopping, it's at super wall-mart at 4 am!

i hate slow walkers

I can vouch for the wanting to shop at 4am at Super Walmart clique... seems like anytime I want to go pick up some groceries any time during the day, that's the time everyone else wants to farging shop as well. And always right where I want stuff at the store... if I want soup, they're in the soup aisle. If it's chips or soda, well, you guessed it, there they are!!! Wait, I want frozen foods... F C K !!!

More than agreed. If there is anything I despise more than dodging the errant shopper, it's the errant shopper with family in tow. Nothing like having to deal with screaming kids, ass-hat attitudes from shopper-x cause "your in their way" and dodging the run-a-way locomotive dressed up as an overfilled shopping cart. There is only one thing worse..Panic shopping when snow is forcasted.

You know, I keep hearing this bullshot about recession and people having to cut back on discretionary spending. However, every time I go to the Mall or a big box store there is absolutely no parking!

Are people not paying their mortgages so they can continue to shop? Or am I living in a cave?

EXACTLY. and it's ALWAYS "YOUR fault." The fact that they have something like 3-4 kids screaming their empty little heads off makes no difference to them. In fact, if you say ANYTHING about them, the mother starts in with the "are YOU a parent?!" routine.

If they throw the parent argument up, I scream about not polluting the the landscape with multiple non-minding crotch droplings. I'm tellin' ya, my idea for a shopping cart with a 2 stroke engine and a cow catcher is looking more and more like a reality.

I like your style, ClockWorkMecha

BTW; here's your cart:

GMTA!

Shopping cart from hell FTW! Just needs a blower kit and a butterfly injector for that "Topped off" look.

So, are there any normal grocery stores that you can go to?

yeah, but not on sunday; they are all downtown, and there are no busses. not to mention after dark, downtown can be fatal to your health. I only needed a few things.

what about the kids skating around in those stupid farging shoes with the wheels in it like the walmart is a goddamned roller rink?

i can't think of the times i've almost ran those brats over with my shopping cart because they came zooming down the isle i was getting ready to cross. another thing i can't stand is the parents that bring their bratty assed banshees along with them and just ignore their wails like they aren't even there, subjecting the rest of the entire farging store to the ear shattering noise.

what happened to parents? when i was a kid if i started that bullshot dad would tell me to shut up or he'd give me something to cry about and i shut the farg up. if i didn't i knew it was a trip to the car and an ass busting when i got there. part of being a parent is taking care of your kid. you wanna shop? get a babysitter. can't afford a babysitter? be prepared to leave the store when your kid acts up. we didn't farg you, the child isn't ours so why make us reap the "benefits" of being a parent?

if i can help it any shopping i do at walmart is done after midnight, and despite what my wife would tell you it's not because thats the time they restock toys. it also helps that i'm prone to slight anxiety attacks in crowds. i haven't been to the mall for years other than the quick jot to radioshack to pick up xmods bumblebee and barricade, or the straight shot through borders and over to kaybee.

Yes!!! I knew I wasn't alone out there.

And yes, the kids and the skating shoes..It takes me everything I have to not clothes line them and GSW the parent(s) for letting them do that in a store.

If you ever become parents you will know why this thread is epic failure.

I'm all the kid I'll ever want or need. No plans to kick or help kick one out. Seriously. Besides, my dogs would be all kinds of jealous.

I take no issue with your chosen lifestyle. However this line of discussion, I can only repeat: Epic Fail.

Sorry, didn't mean to offend you. But some of us would like to exist in this world w/o getting rammed by a 6 year old with a carriage when all we're trying to do is get supper for tonight. We'll all get off the planet for you now. BTW, try having Tourette's syndrome when this happens, and the mother screaming at you freaks out because your nervous tics makes her think you're the antichrist. (and you can only take so much Haldol before you become a zombie.)

Those parents are of course having a fantastic time torturing you at the grocery store.

It's not like their there to get food for them and their dependents.

I'm sorry but the childless b-tching about children is like hearing the color blind b-tch about repaints.

I'm just going to stop while I'm ahead here. I'm not trying to be a jerk or be insensitive to parents; I do realize that they have a hard time too. But we have to shop too.

any rate, I'm excusing myself from the rest of this. I don't need the ghost of JackKnife haunting me.

Yeah, I realized that after I posted. Didn't mean to play the part of "Dick board poster". I do see where your coming from though.

Step 1) Bring baseball bat
Step 2) Go to shop
Step 3) Swing, swing and swing again

Seriously though, if I had kids, I wouldn't bring them shopping till at least they could properly talk and had stopped bawling. Or something like that...
I might sympathise with parents, but that doesn't mean you should let your kids scream and shout about, or wear those damn heelies. Otherwise your kids are in for a world of

I hate those kids that take a running start with a trolley and then Zoom down the aisle.


Or rather, I hate the ones who can't make an emergency stop, as I AM one of the kids who zooms down aisles.

I wouldn't let my kids use heelies in the store. But if I didn't take my small kids shopping with me we'd starve...

And I'd have no toys.

I always love it when non-parents are all "I would NEVER allow my child to act like that. That parent should just keep that kid at home."

Yeah, just you wait and see, buddy.

Snap You just need to know how to STOP...

I thought that's what chloroform and alcohol were for...

Ah, everyone's an expert when it comes to (other people's) kids.

See, here's the deal: Everyone out there with kids? They only like their own kids, and even that's not always a sure thing. That's how I am, I only like my kids. Everyone else's kids can go take a flying leap into a volcano for all I care.

That being said, I have VERY little tolerance for other peoples' kids in a store setting. My wife and I have tried very hard to make sure that our kids are well-behaved and respectful in a store, BUT THEY ARE KIDS. They still get up to asshattery, it's in their nature. The difference is that we realize when a kid is too tired/hungry/cranky to go into a store, and that just means that one of us has to wait outside or something, no biggie. And we are not afraid to issue the "ONE MOAR TIME AND WEER LEEVING!!!" threat, either. The difference is that you ACTUALLY HAVE TO BACK UP YOUR THREATS WITH ACTIONS, which most parents these days seem unwilling/unable to do.

Of course, actually leaving the grocery store before you're finished shopping doesn't help you at all, since you're still gonna have to go back and get the rest of the stuff you needed.

My wife and I will go out to the store by ourselves; it's just impossible with four kids.

EDIT TO ADD: I MEAN THAT ONE OF US WILL GO TO THE STORE, NOT THAT BOTH OF US WILL GO AND LEAVE THE KIDS AT HOME

P.S. though I look forward to the day when that will be possible

You and me both. I can't WAIT for the day that I don't have to go through the "Get your bath, go pee, brush your teeth, get up stairs, go to bed" routine ever again.

I also look forward to the day when I don't have to deal with someone else's poo.

I just look forward to not finding surprises around the house like "oh hay someone drew on the new leather couch WITH A PEN"

Ooooh, you're getting me hot.

DAMMIT, WHO LEFT THIS GODDAM MOTHERfargING CLONE TROOPER/POLLY POCKET ON THE FLOOR SO THAT I COULD STEP ON THE SON OF A batch IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!!????!!!!

Who knew our sweet little 20-month-old daughter would be the one to mark up the whole house and play in toilets?

(that second one is made extra special b/c our four-year-old son doesn't like to flush)

just look forward to that sweet day of revenge when daddies too old and febal to wipe his ass and the good child has to do it for him. in those days, eat plenty of fiber and take plenty of laxatives my friend.

CHL and pete, you guys are what makes me still have some faith in the parenting skills of america.



i farging love you so much right now >_>

The supreme irony there is when they draw pictures of cows on the leather couch...

And Pete, what you're missing is the part where we say, "Now we have to go home and drop you little bastards off with mom so I can now go BACK to the store WE WERE JUST AT to buy all the stuff the we need. So I figure my time is worth $10/hour, plus gas....and it takes 20-30 mins to drive home...another 20-30 mins to drive BACK to the store... You little fukcers owe me $15!"

My kids get paid an allowance for doing their chores, and then they pay "bills" as well out of that. If they leave their lights on upstairs in their rooms, and no one is up there, we charge them $.50. If their chores are done half-assed, they get charged. If they fight like little b!tches, they get charged. We have run into (but only a couple times) where they end up owing US money at the end of the week because of all their fines and whatnot.

We pay for the bare necessities and any extras are completely up to them. My oldest daughter recently started to shave her legs (fukcing beef hormones I tell you). I buy the cheap, disposable razors for her and she wants the expensive reusable ones (which the enviro-hippie in me supports), so we told her, "here is the amount we would spend on the cheap ones, you make up the difference and buy whatever you want."

Works like a charm.

Whether or not you have children, the fail in this thread is still obvious.


"WHY IS EVERYONE IN MY WAY?!"

"I dunno...why are you in everyone else's way?

And THAT's why I think casual murder should be allowed. Sure would keep the population down.

Holy F-Disk...I think I just found the Grail.

That.Is.THE.Sh!t!!

See, I knew my destructive side appealed to someone out there!



Srsly, that is some cool stuff there, you make me reconsider my "All is lost" theory for parents in the country.

Lord, what did I start?

Although the rocket-propelled chain-saw made my day.

and Cool Hand Lube, you are the type of parent I salute!

My co-worker thought he had successfully potty-trained his son, until he discovered that the little guy was just crapping on the floor and the dog was eating it.

Christ thats horrible.

GO GREEN'd

Hmmmm,

1) You don't have to clean up after the kid

2) You don't have to worry about feeding the dog

*applies for patent*

*applies for some alka seltzer*

*applies for some brain bleach*

CHL!!!

Well I'm not the adult in my household so I'm not the one going grocery shopping but I go with my mom a lot to Wegmans and its a pain. Or at least going with my mom is. Its amazing the number of weird people you can find in grocery stores. Kinda like Wal-Mart.