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Grindcore
I know there used to be a thread like this, but I'm too farging lazy to search for it...

07redface.gif

Anyways, weirdest/funniest/most outlandish spam you've ever gotten. Today I received this in my email;

QUOTE
Subject: Obama recommends Power Enlarge

You've heard about the lindsay sucking video; here's the link to view all 20 minutes of blowing action.
*some link to some site*


wtf1.gif jetstorm.gif megsgum.gif

JustLOKIPLVY
scratchchinhmm.gif

leaving.gif
Cadogen
When I close out of my Ymail account, I keep getting ads for his and her KY Jelly.
G.A.S.H.
Is your shaft too big?
Blitz
I just get stuff about how some rich guy died in aferica and how to get to his money they me to handle the cash and that they would give me a cut
Asthaloth
I don't even get that, I get shot from Flixster and some other stupid site I never signed up to.
Ultra Bumblemus
I get a lot of emails on married women that want me to come over and have sex with them while thier husbands are at work
Sularias
This one time I got a spam e-mail about enlarging my dork...



But the doctors told me if it was any bigger then I'd pass out from blood loss every time I got a boner so I just deleted it.
C-U-NEXT-TUESDAY
Email for antip0rn wtf1.gif is that
Darth Caine
Dong Enlargement, Some African or Indian guys seeking helps, etc... sweatbead.gif
Cadogen
QUOTE (Ultra Bumblemus @ Jul 9 2008, 05:12 AM) *
I get a lot of emails on married women that want me to come over and have sex with them while thier husbands are at work


Wow, you dream about getting emails? You need to spend some time away from the computer!
Grindcore
Okay, this one was just plain weird;

QUOTE
Subject: Exclusive things mans

Do not leave your nights unsatisfied

See and get


The "See and get" was a link. To what, I don't know, but I suspect it would leave me scarred for life if I went to check it out (just like a link in a PM from FREEFALLL666). tankor.gif
wazzpinator

my spam was radically different than your guys spam
Blitz
got this jem today

QUOTE
TREAT AS URGENT:

Dear Friend.

I am Ahj. Iburahim Mantu,the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of Africa Development Bank(A.D.B)Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso in West Africa.With due respect and regard I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction.

From my Department in the bank, I discovered an abandoned sum of TEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($10 Million) that belongs to one of our customer who died along with his entire famillies,on 25TH JULY,2000 CONCORDE PLANE CRASH[Flight AF4590 ] with the whole passengers aboard.The name of the deceased man was (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from Munich,Germany).

In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil servant(A Banker) We are not allowed to operate a foreign account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of transfer because I work in this bank.

This is the actual reason why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin to the Bank and also present a foreign account where he will need the money to be re-transferred into on his request as it may be after due verification and clarification by the correspondent branch of the bank where the $10 Million United States Dollars will be remitted from to your own designation bank account.

I dont want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed Bill,Besides our Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after 10 years, the money will be transferred into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 30% of the total sum as gratification, while 10% will be set aside to take care of expenses that may arise during the time of transfer and also telephone bills,while 60% will be for me. Please, you have been adviced to keep "top secret" as i am still in service and intend to retire from service after I conclude this deal with you.

I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm the money in your account and i will come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment, either in your country or any country you advice us to invest in.

All other necessary vital information will be sent to you when I hear from you and i look forward to receive your responce to my personal email address: iburahim888@yahoo.fr, or call me on +22678055889 for more discussion.

Yours faithfully,
Ahj. Iburahim Mantu.
+22678055889
I.S.T.
Ah, the Nigerian scam. Old, but good.
Lord Madhammer
QUOTE (Cadogen @ Jul 8 2008, 07:51 PM) *
When I close out of my Ymail account, I keep getting ads for his and her KY Jelly.

Hey, that stuff rules


<_<
The Diesel
Hotmail identified this sender as Taylor Arrington (epdehps@bobjamesmagic.com).

Read on:

QUOTE
Hey!
My name is Kristina. I have closely read your profile. I really liked yours profile.
I have decided to write to you. I hope you will answer me. I looking for serious relations.
I think you kind and interesting the man. For me are not necessary money. Money for me are not important.
For me the main understanding, respect and love. The external beauty for me too is not important.
I think that the most important a private world the person. The most important as the man will concern to me.
The love, caress, respect, understanding is necessary for me. I am ready to risk for the sake of love.
I very much would like to learn more about you. What is your hobby? How you will spend the free time?
How you meet holidays? I very much want to get acquainted with you. I want to tell you about myself.
I work as the teacher at school. I very much love my work. At the free time I like to go to cinema, theatre, cafe,
disco, zoo. I love the nature and animals. Mine
friends speak that I very romantic, beautiful and kind person.
I want to tell more about myself but I was better write more about myself in the letter.
If you want to get acquainted with me write to me on mine e-mail. Write me on my e-mail and i shall write you more
about me and send you more my photos.

My e-mail is: swskyflower@gmail.com
Lord Madhammer
*naked fat internet dude pic*
The Diesel
Actually, this picture was attached:



There's another picture too, but I have to find it.
ULTRA MANGOS
QUOTE (The Diesel @ Jul 17 2008, 01:21 PM) *
Actually, this picture was attached:



There's another picture too, but I have to find it.



well thats her me has make up pic her other pic without make up is this





im going to hell arent i?






oh and the weirdest spam i got was to fight spam..... yep cliffjumper.gif
The Diesel
QUOTE (ULTRA MANGOS @ Jul 17 2008, 03:23 PM) *
QUOTE (The Diesel @ Jul 17 2008, 01:21 PM) *
Actually, this picture was attached:



There's another picture too, but I have to find it.



well thats her me has make up pic her other pic without make up is this





im going to hell arent i?






oh and the weirdest spam i got was to fight spam..... yep cliffjumper.gif

Apparently you and Kristina speak the same language.

Terrible broken English.
Lord Madhammer
I wonder if she speaks mmmmpppppphhhhh
G.A.S.H.
How bout Shut The Hell Up Bitch?
The Diesel
QUOTE (Lord Madhammer @ Jul 17 2008, 03:30 PM) *
I wonder if she speaks mmmmpppppphhhhh

I've spoke that before. scratchchinhmm.gif




























"mmmmpppppphhhhh"
Wildling
I got this today ....

QUOTE
--
THE UK NATIONAL LOTTERY
P O Box 1010
3b Olympic Way, Sefton Business Park,
Aintree, Liverpool , L30 1RD
(Customer Services)

Dear winner,

UK NATIONAL LOTTERY GOLDEN JUBILEE PROMOTION

We which to congratulate you that your e-mail address has won the sum of £710,000(seven hundred and ten thousand Great British pounds sterling) in the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY GOLDEN JUBILEE PROMOTION with partnership with AOL mail which was held on the 14th of July 2008.

(Your winning number) is 32.43.28.49.16 (Batch Number) UKA6549LR7 and your (Reff number) is GKL564BTC4.

All you need to do is to contact your claims agent.
Provide to him the subsequent claim requirements

1.Name in full______________________
2.Nationality_______________________
3.Address __________________________
4.Phone num ________________________
5.Fax ______________________________
6.Occupation________________________
7.Sex_______________________________
8.Age_______________________________
9.Present country___________________
10.Marital Status___________________
11.Language speaking _______________

Contact informations
Name: Mr.Thomas Clifford.
E-mail: redeem_claims@live.com


NOTE: You are expected to get to your claims agent as soon as possible
Do not discuss this issue with any one to avoid fraudulent claim (IMPORTANT)

Regards
Mrs. Stella Ella
(Group coordinator)


Keeping in mind that this came from Liverpool, check out the bit at the bottom of it ...

QUOTE
--
Saunalahti Ykkönen: Puhelut kaikkiin liittymiin 0,069 e/min ja nyt kaupan päälle Sisärengas-puhelut ja tekstarit viiteen valitsemaasi liittymään 0 e!
http://saunalahti.fi


g1-OptimusPrimeAniLevelup.gif
FREEFALLL666
QUOTE (Grindcore @ Jul 9 2008, 02:23 PM) *
Okay, this one was just plain weird;

QUOTE
Subject: Exclusive things mans

Do not leave your nights unsatisfied

See and get


The "See and get" was a link. To what, I don't know, but I suspect it would leave me scarred for life if I went to check it out (just like a link in a PM from FREEFALLL666). tankor.gif

300.png crazy.gif suicidekh5.gif rofl.gif Wawawewa.gif rofl.gif Wawawewa.gif rofl.gif
I.S.T.
QUOTE (Lord Madhammer @ Jul 17 2008, 07:01 AM) *
QUOTE (Cadogen @ Jul 8 2008, 07:51 PM) *
When I close out of my Ymail account, I keep getting ads for his and her KY Jelly.

Hey, that stuff rules


<_<


I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE K THX
Lord Madhammer
Boys have penises and girls have vaginas.
I.S.T.
QUOTE (Lord Madhammer @ Jul 18 2008, 08:22 AM) *
Boys have dorks and girls have vaginas.


roffle
Ultra Bumblemus
heres one of the latest ones I got
Grindcore
Here's one I got today;

Subject: Love Package at low price

Being the naturally curious person that I am, I opened the email, and here's the body of the message;

QUOTE
2500+ Mens and Womens Heath & Beauty products, and a broad range of other products.



Great variety of products for your health.

Here!





exochorion enjoyments etc/chroot
enthoven's fascioloid euryzygous
ex-manager extinction exorcisers
fbchpasswd euharmonic ethereally

Definitely not what I was expecting, considering the subject line and all...

megsgum.gif
Blitz
got this today wtf its about I don't know

subject: contractor strewn responsible gilt broaden€
QUOTE
cheeky nightshirt book? invade, inflater contractor.
nightshirt assent salmonella royalty grief poppy, salmonella
gentle hypertensive fiendish royalty filmdom.

chemotherapy cheeky ivan

seersucker polytypy inferential? classic, inflater book.
responsible poppy polytypy responsible fiendish salmonella, bulkhead
poppy homicidal strewn elk basepoint.

royalty responsible elk

poppy sus book? inferential, assent bathos.

ivanhoe mcnaughton.
Grindcore
QUOTE (Blitz @ Aug 4 2008, 04:10 PM) *
QUOTE

chemotherapy cheeky ivan


Sounds positively russian!!! optimuslaugh2.gif
Wildling
QUOTE (Blitz @ Aug 4 2008, 05:10 PM) *
ivanhoe mcnaughton.


I am SO naming my kid that.
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