Basically if you made your own transformers movie what would it be?

It would, essentially, be the one Michael Bay made, but with more robot dialog and less hackers. Also, I think I'd make Josh Duhmel (or whatever) into "Spike" and Shia into "Buster" (have them be brothers, essentially) so as to link the "boy and his car" story with the "Qatar attack story" a little more.

But, otherwise, mostly the same movie - down to the Masturbation Joke and the Sector 7 Golden Shower.

Time Warrior would save the day.

no dumb hackers/masterbation scene

they blew

Why's everyone hate on the masturbation scene? It was funny.

And totally out of nowhere. I mean, whacking off is just one of those things that usually doesn't come up in movies unless they're called "American Pie" or "Angsty Movie About My Shameful Existence".

There were better ways to earn the PG-13 rating IMO. Like having some less cartoonish violence. Remember Don Murphy's comment from way back about how Megatron thinks humans are "squishy"? We didn't see that in the movie.

I think would qualify as an "R".

It's all in how you present it, as you know. My point was just that the movie could have been presented in animated form without changing any of the action scenes, and it would have been okay for Saturday morning.

well okay, there was the Scorponok skewer, but that was so quick that it didn't really register. You certainly never saw any follow-up with what happened to the guy.

I am a fan of the masturbation scene.... but yeah I'd make pretty much the same movie if had any kind of talent at movie making that is.

lol

I think my biggest problem with the film is recognizing Bay-isms in TF when I watch other films that he's done. Stuff that seemed like part of the TF story comes off as more of just something he does in that context.

Dude, that sounds SO wrong.

I'd say make the same movie, but take out all the "No no no no no no no"-s (Seriously, I think EVERY character has a scene where they say that) and all the other Bay-isms, no disorienting half-second camera shots, no reference to Armageddon being "awesome," take out "Sam's Special Alone Time," (which brought that scene to a screeching halt, IMO), maybe have Optimus show just a teensy bit more emotion (or any) over the fact that his friend Jazz died, make the robot fight scenes a little more clear and a little less "THIS...SUMMER...THINGS...WILL...FLY...AT...THE...SCREEN...REALLY...FAST", make the robots look a bit more GEEWUNNY...Oh, and I'd take out the "BRING IT!" scene. I don't know why, I just hate that scene.

Maybe take out that crappy Linkin Park song at the end and add some damn Foghat or something.

Other than that, I think the movie we got was fine.

I only hope that the sequel doesn't become fanboyish and inaccessible. The first movie was wildly popular because it didn't require the audience to know or care about Transformers in order to enjoy it. If all of a sudden the sequel is "Starscream talking with a bunch of robots on Cybertron" then I think you're going to lose the audience in five seconds.

So, my perfect TF sequel would be very Earth-based, very human-centric, and very

I think since the introductions are done, there should be more robot time, but yeah it still needs some human leads... and Autobot X action.

I agree, but it's still dangerous territory IMO. If halfway through the sequel, the audience realizes "OMG I'M WATCHING A FANBOY MOVIE" then you're going to see a mass exodus at the back of the theater.

I agree. By "more robot time" I want "pretty much exactly the same amount of robot time, but with more talking".

And have them talk in vehicle mode, too.

Really just more Transformer dialog, please.

OMG NO

Anyway, Prime's mouth pieces are in his engine, fenders and trailer hitch in truck mode.

The 'Cons already did it in the first movie. It's precedented!

True, but HWWWALLALBBLLLARRGGGG doesn't sound as goofy coming from a vehicle as English does.

I didn't say English (but I was thinking it... )

Still, I'm not thinking of Michael Knight/KITT conversations, but radioing each other over long distances (like the 'Con Roll Call scene) or planning a tactic as they roll into battle could work and would be a way to add in Autobot characterization without upping the budget too badly.

I think the first film could've benefited from a few well placed pieces of Autobot vehicle dialog...like Jazz just sitting there when Bumblebee's legs got blown off...Jazz could have vocalized concern without killing the budget (although you couldn't just dub it as shot, but shooting it with the dialog planned could've worked, I think).

I dunno... it all seems very "Herbie the Love Bug" to me. And we know that that's one reason Bay didn't go with Bumblebee's original alt mode for the movie.

100% agree on that. Prime is built up as being the heroic, compassionate, noble leader and what happens when one of his closest comrades dies in battle “Oh, Jazz … that’s too bad … but lets not worry too much cause we’ve made lots of new human friends to take his place” (I may have paraphrased). Not to mention how he sold Bumbleebee down the river. Have a heart Prime.

If I could make my own TF Movie it would be 100% fanboy fodder, which, as has been agreed in this thread, would be box office suicide.

The main suggestion I’d give Bay is to spend more time developing the TF’s characters, give us more motivation and understanding about why the war is being fought and let the Decepticons really, really terrorise the audience (like Doc Octupus’ coroner scene in Spidey 2). One last important point for Bay, NO MORE REFERENCES TO ONANISM.