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DarkNarcoleptic
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/arti...in_page_id=1770

QUOTE
Great war memoirs of a trench soldier reveal 'Blackadder' humour
By LIZ HULL

The Somme, as Rowan Atkinson's Captain Blackadder might have said, was a lunacy from which no amount of cunning plans could offer an escape.

In Captain Alexander Stewart of 3rd Scottish Rifles, the BBC's comic anti-hero would have found a kindred spirit.

The officer's previously unseen Great War diary reveals the black comedy of the trenches which masked the heroism and the horror.

Captain Stewart's diary, which has been published for the first time, reveals how on one occasion he struggled to shoot straight during a battle because of his pipe.

He wrote: "After my third or fourth shot, I found that the bowl of my pipe and the smoke from it was obscuring my line of vision as I was firing slightly downwards all the time. Much to my annoyance, I had to put my pipe in my pocket alight as it was; it was lucky that it did not burn my jacket.

"Just as I got my rifle working I saw a man in the trench calmly kneeling down and taking an aim at me. At the moment I saw him he fired. But in a miraculous way he missed."

The memoirs, entitled The Experiences of a Very Unimportant Officer, were written shortly after Captain Stewart returned home from the battlefields after being injured in 1917.

In them, he details his annoyance at being woken up by pointless edicts from headquarters asking him how many socks his men have.

"I reply 141 and a half. I then go to sleep; back comes a memo: "please explain at once how you come to be deficient of one sock". I reply "man lost his leg". That's how we make the Huns sit up."

He also records his sleep being disturbed by rats licking the styling cream off his hair.

Captain Stewart made just three copies of his memoirs. They remained undisturbed for almost 70 years until his grandson, Jaime Stewart, 49, stumbled across them.

Mr Stewart, an actor from Bristol, said: "Until now it has only been read by one or two members of my family and close friends.

"But now I'd like to share this amazing piece of personal history of his time in the trenches."

Captain Stewart was commissioned by the Scottish regiment, the Cameronians, in 1915 and, aged 39, was sent to France to command C Company after his training.

His diary records how many of his comrades suffered shell shock followingone episode of heavy shelling in July 1916, a fortnight after the beginning of the Battle of the Somme. He also wrote about a "plague of fat and dirty flies" which covered the bodies of hundreds of fallen men.

Following two years on the frontline, Captain Stewart was sent home to Richmond, Surrey, when he was injured by shrapnel.

Describing the injury, he wrote: "I started to cough and brought up some blood and a bit of the shell which must have stuck in my wind pipe. My servant very kindly retrieved the bit of iron out of the mud and, handing it to me, remarked that I might like to keep it. This I did and my wife has it now."

Captain Stewart suffered severe post-traumatic and spoke little of his experiences before his death in 1964, at the age of 86.

His son, Thomas Stewart, 84, said: "He wanted to record what it was like, and he wrote well. For many years after the war he would wake up screaming in the night, but he never talked about it."
Lord Madhammer
QUOTE (DeeEnn @ Nov 8 2007, 05:39 PM) *
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/arti...in_page_id=1770

QUOTE
Following two years on the frontline, Captain Stewart was sent home to Richmond, Surrey, when he was injured by shrapnel.

Describing the injury, he wrote: "I started to cough and brought up some blood and a bit of the shell which must have stuck in my wind pipe. My servant very kindly retrieved the bit of iron out of the mud and, handing it to me, remarked that I might like to keep it. This I did and my wife has it now."


O.M.G.
trench
I wonder if the whole thing is that amusing or if they've just selected the best bits? If it's the former, sounds like a good read.
MikePrime
Neat-o.
FREEFALLL666
QUOTE (trench @ Nov 8 2007, 06:07 PM) *
I wonder if the whole thing is that amusing or if they've just selected the best bits? If it's the former, sounds like a good read.

Read Spike Milligans books on WW2 they do have serious points but mostly are hilarious. MASSIVELY ABBRIGED "30 people were reported dead through a bombing run on the town nearby, me and my band mates decided to practice" and that sort of dry humor goes throughout. It takes you a couple of read throughs to get WHY it was funny. With titles like MONTY, HIS PART IN MY VICTORY how can it not be?
Asthaloth
QUOTE (trench @ Nov 9 2007, 01:07 AM) *
I wonder if the whole thing is that amusing or if they've just selected the best bits? If it's the former, sounds like a good read.



Going by my fathers attitude I'd say there would be a lot of dry and black humour in there.
He was stationed in Germany during the cold war, and was basically told that if Soviet Russia invaded it was his duty to not die long enough for Reinforcements to arrive.
Suicide squad they were called.

But anyway, every now and then he'll come up with some weird story of being asleep on watch (He learnt to sleep standing up..) or of opening fire on a field of cows when a sniper took the chest out of one of his squad mates, or fishing with Grenades from a helicopter.

Every story he has is like that, -an amusing, dry stance to it but then you realise that someone lost their life during it.
It really makes you realise why the hell my dad is the way he is.


He has only one story that isn't like that, he was on patrol in Ireland (75 or 76 I think), his unit was going through a building where they suspected an IRA cell was making bombs, the point man tells them to stop and has enough time to say "Oh shi.." before there's an explosion.
My dad was the only survivor.
He only told that story once.
FREEFALLL666
Ouch. My grandfather was on sabotage/demolitions behind enemy lines, He was in Germany while virtually all the war was fought in France etc.. Sergent Major Robert Ford. From what I can gather being Irish he told tragic stories to my father while cracking jokes all the time. I couldnt get him to talk about WWII to me because he felt that I was too young, He died before I was old enough to get anything out of him.
Ol' Timer
Blackadder: 'We've been sitting here since Christmas 1914, during which time millions of men have died, and we've moved no further than an asthmatic ant with heavy shopping.'


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