old chapter removed due to extreme suckage.

allow me to explain in large print. all people who want to read the funny stuff, go directly to the last chapter in page 2

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apparently this forum doesn't mind spam........ i admit the armada timeline chapters are not as good as my energon ones. but hang in there and for god sake be positive.....

WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT!

wow. this chapter IS kinda bad. alright. i'll just skip straight to the energon ones.
the things Optimus does is because he thinks he's a power rangers character (as his powerlinx mode looks like a megazord)

*Autobot base*

Optimus: *jerks his head about while he talks* well i think the terrorcons will be back. we have to think of a strategy. what do you think, Alpha?

Strongarm: ayeyayayayay, Tommy. it seems there are more terrorcons approaching and i have some new things to give. where are they again......? seems i lost them. oh well too bad for you then byebye.

Optimus: but by the laws that bind all of TV, whenever we get a new powerup, the enemies get one too so if you don't find them, then we'll have a disadvantage.

Inferno: anyone want a napkin?

Optimus: NOOOOOOOO *dives and falls flat on the ground* CRAP! the red ranger was able to do this easily...

Hot Shot: what was the point of diving forward in the first place?

Jetfire: aw man my head hurts........i need some crack.

Ironhide: .......*fart*

autobots: AUGH!

Kicker: take that outside! ugh!

Ironhide: s'cuse me..........hey hot shot, wanna powerlink, hot shot?

Hot Shot: hell no.

*BOOM*

Optimus: what was that?

Ironhide: THAT wasn't me.

*terrorcons invade*

scorponok: WE HAVE HIT SHORE, MEN!!! I CLAIM THIS LAND IN THE NAME OF NIGERIA!!

Tidal Wave: where are the kids........

Inferno: OPEN FIRE, MEN!!!! oooooh i always wanted to say that!!!

*numerous gun terrets com out of the ground and destroy the terrorcon fleet. Skorpinok, Cyclonus, and Tidal Wave retreat*

Apha-Q voiceover:it would seem our terrorcons suck at this energon collecting now and i'm still hungry!!! ENOUGH! obviousely we need to increse attacks and totally destroy everything!!! no.... that would only wipe out more terrorcons and further jopordize our FOOD SHORTAGE!!!!!

scorponok: i have returned but yet i have also failed. the autobot defense grid was just too much for me to handle. everyone died...except for me. for i had escaped after claiming the land in the name of Germany.

Alpha-Q: your constant failures are making it harder and harder to revive Megatron. let alone Unicron.we won't even have enough energon to keep that little light in the refrigerator on!!!!

*other room.*

Cyclonus: uhh....heh heh-hahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!! *splat* OW MY ROTOR!!!! *ahem* anyway, Megatron. due to increased defenses on autobot power, we couldn;t get you any energon...uh...sorry

Tidal Wave: i was close to getting a kid back.....but he got away....maybe next time.

Dormant Megatron: .......

Cyclonus: aww let's face it. he;s not coming back *kicks Megatron statue*

Megatron's voice: don't do that.........

Cyclonus: HOLY SH*T!!!!

*the ground shakes*

Scorponok: what in god's name is going on in here? NO! MEGATRON'S COMING BACK!!!! NOT YET!!!! I MUST.....*sticks a flag into Megatron's chest* I CLAIM THIS WALL IN THE NAME OF SOMALIA!!!!

*the statue breaks apart and the new Megatron stands before the rest of the decepticons*

Megatron: who are you? why did you have my sword?

Scorponok: sword? i uh....don't have it anymore... i see you have it now so i'll just leave and-

Megatron: *holds sword out to scorpinok's face.* i see you have energon. hand it over.

scorponok: that toy sword doesn't scare me. besides. it's naptime again...

Megatron: this is a real sword!

Scorponok: look at the handle *quickly sends the real sword into a teleporter to the main room where Alpha-Q is*

Megatron: hmmm...copyright 2004 hasbro?!!?!? ARRRGH!!!! but it lights up and does the pretty noises...... grrrrr *rams Scorponok into a wall and totally wails on him* you still have the real one! give it back!

*10 minutes later*

*WHAMWHAMWHAM!!*

Cyclonus: uh don't you think the poor guy's suffered enough?

Megatron: don't be silly. i'm only getting started.

Scorponok: mmmfmmfmfmmfmfmmmfffffmmmpbmmbpmppmfmpbfpmpfmb

Tidal Wave: i believe Scorponok has suffered from severe cranial swelling and his speech has been hindered. quite serious really

Cyclonus: my god....that was...intelligent

tidal Wave: oh...er...i mean TIDAL WAVE THINKS SCORPONOK'S HEAD IS HURT AND NOT TALK FROM HURT.

Alpha-Q: *from other room* please stop, Megatron no! keep going. we might be able to eat him if he's been hurt enough!

Cyclonus: Scorponok?

Scorponok: mmmfmpmpmfpmfpmfmmmbb

tidal Wave: Tidal wave can speak muffle tongue. tidal Wave translate. scorponok say "alpha-Q has it"

Cyclonus: yeah. it's true. there;s this guy with like....3..uh...4...5..*counts fingers* 5 times 9 equals 6 carry the one and....THREEVE! he has threeve heads. and he's ugly.

Megatron: Alpha-Q..... where is this hideous mistake of nature?

Scorponok: *points to big door*

Megatron: oh. i'll sneak up on him *folds wings over his body* FWOOSH!!! *shuffles into Alpha-Q's quarters*

Alpha-Q:greetings, Megatron did you bring food?

Megatron: *opens wings* aw poonuts. you saw me. uh let me try that again *folds wings* FWOOSH! *shuffles out of the room and then back in again and opens his wings* BOOGABOOGABOOGA!!!

Alpha-Q: ............ I'M HUNGRY!!!

This is great! Keep going! Must read more! This is funny stuff, but, what does skizsofrantic mean?

It wasn't spam: "Dot dot dot" is my way of saying " I can't figure this out, it boggles my imagination". I apologize it if looks like spam.

aye. skitzofrenic means you believe you are two beings sharing the same body.

Actually....Schizophrenia is the condition where you hear voices in your head and you actually think the voices are there and you talk to them as if they are standing in front of you.....also its not limited to two voices....could be a multitude of voices (8, 9, 27, 100)....what you described is often confused as schizophrenia, but is actually a form of Multiple Personality Disorders.....sorry.....i just had a test on this in health class.....i dont mean to sound stuck up or anything

actually that makes sense to me now. thanks. i also found i was spelling it wrong heh heh....... well/ the next chapter is in the works so i'll post it soon

Your welcome.....its my ultimate pet peeve when people act like they're smarter than people.....but i figured knowing what it actually was might help u in the next chapters

LOL

Megatron: FWOOSH!!! aw f*ck it. i assume you're alpha-Q

Alpha-Q:then you'd be correct AND I WOULD BE IN THE MOOD FOR A TASTY ENERGON SANDWICH!!!! ARGH! NOW I GET IT! MEGATRON WASN'T STEALING OUR ENERGON FOR REVIVAL, Q-FACE 3 WAS EATING IT!!!!!!

Megatron: your food problem is not any of my concern! i demand you return to me my sword!!!!! *summons a hoarde of Divebombs which quickly surround Alpha-Q*

Alpha-Q: WE'RE SURROUNDED! AND WITH OUR TERRORCONS!!! it would appear we are outnumbered. we had better EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!!! HELL NO! WE'RE ESCAPING

*Alpha-Q makes a break for it but megatron grabs the cord thing the leads out of the top of A-Q's head. A-Q struggles and escapes but he drops Megatron's sword when he fumbles. he quickly gets up and runs away*

Megatron: ah. my sword. this one's real. yesssss......

Cyclonus: yessss? when did Megatron say that before?

Tidal Wave: Tidal Wave does not care......

*rumble*

Megatron: Alpha-Q must have escaped through that doorway *runs through the hall and discovers that Unicron's head is now missing* NOOOO!! HE GOT AWAY!!!!

Scorponok: mmmmmfmfmfmfmfmfmmmmm

Tidal Wave: Scorponok say "Alpha-Q will come back some day".

Megatron: take Scorponok to the healing chamber. as he is now a decepticon, he must be fighting-fit in order to be of any use.

Tidal Wave: yes master.....

*some unknown asteroid base*

Hot Rod: it still kinda scares me that we are the last of the ancient transformers

Wreck Gar: and you too can own these ancient replicas for the unbelievably low price of $499.99!!!!!!

Wheelie: too much! cash and such!

Blurr: thatad'sarip-off.nobody'sgonnabuyit

Hot Rod: and i'm surrounded by complete morons

Grimlock: me grimlock not moron! me Grimlock king!

*autobot HQ*

Optimus: Zordon, report

Primus: *sigh* my name is PRIMUS! but i cannot detect any terrorcons so you're safe for now

Optimus: good. *falls over and takes a nap*

time now for a new chapter. sorry for the huge wait. school never stops eating freetime. anyhoo, TIME FOR MORE TF ANTICS!

*Unicron's head*

Alpha-Q: Megatron has taken control of our base and our terrorcons. i fear the mission may be jepordizedNEVER! WE SHALL CONTINUE TO FIGHT! THERE IS A WAY TO WIN! I JUST NOW IT!*sob* MY FOOD WAS IN OUR OLD BASE! I HAVE NOTHING TO EAT!!!! i have comletely forgotten WE also have terrorcons in this head. we shall use them to return the energon.
and I have an idea too! COME FOURTH, MY NEW SOLDIER!!!

*Starscream Forms*

Starscream: .....i can see through my hands. is this normal? ACK! what are you?!?!

Alpha-Q: i have created you with some of the energon i planned to eat. do not fail me or i'll eat YOU instead. we need you to lead our new set of Terrorcons to steal back all the energon we lost. go to Unicron's torso and take all the energon and the fridges in the back room. I NEED TO EAT!!!

Starscream: uh....right. but this see-thru thing. it's normal, right?

Alpha-Q: i have no clue really. nobody cares anyway.

Starscream: fine fine fine. TERRORCONS, FOLLOW ME! *flies off with Divebombs carrying Cruellocks.*

*damaged-beyond-repair G1 Autobot shuttle*

Hot Rod: *sigh* day 126. we are still adrift in space with no sign of any planet. my teammates are losing all sanity they may have had and only Kup is still normal. i fear the worst has come.

Blurr:a-space-obstacle.-huge-huge-HUGE-obstacle-coming.-i-see-a-face-i-can-see-a-giant-face-in-the-obstacle.

Kup: shut up, Blurr.

Wheelie: Blurr's becoming scrap. he's already talking crap!

Blurr: it's-true-i-swear-it's-big-and-has-horns-and

Grimlock: me Grimlock has huge headache from Blurr's talking!

Wreck Gar: pops-a-dent can take ANY dents out of your car! try now and we'll include the scartch remover. an UNBELIEVABLY low price of just $500.00!!!! so try it on that new Mazda RX-8 today!!!

Hot Rod: did you say "RX-8"?

Kup: yeah he did. why?

Hot Rod: that must be a new car. maybe Wreck Gar's TV is picking up a nearby signal somewhere. Wreck Gar, show us your TV.

Wreck Gar: *holds his TV up which is displaying the news of that present day.*

Hot rod: HOLY SH*T! it's the year 2004 in Earth years ALREADY?!?!?! we've been adrift for 2 decades!

Wreck Gar: transformers! energon! Earth;s energon is mine. not so fast, Scorponok! attack with hyper power! here's your energon! i'll be back! transformers energon figures. each sold seperately actual change time will vary.

hot Rod: energon? Kup, i think this ship's radar still works. try and find where Earth is!

Kup: i can always try and reactivate the radar if it IS disabled

Wheelie: you know what i need. give me some weed!

Hot rod: you had enough weed today, wheelie.

Kup: i have found Earth. but uh.....did anyone notice Unicron's head is next to us and we've begun to orbit it?

Blurr: see?-i-told-you-there-was-an-obstacle!!!

*Decepticon base*

Megatron: Alpha-Q had no decent startegies. we should have twice the amount of energon that we have now

scorponok: he does have good strategies. but his white face eats half of what they find........

Tidal Wave: must find kids......

Megatron: oh don't worry, tidal Wave. you'll have plenty of time to shoot at the children when we invade Earth.

*tidal Wave sneaks away to Autobot HQ*

Cyclonus: Energon? *pokes a pile of energon and glows* AUUGHHHAHAHAHAHA!!! *BOOM!* ARGH! MY WHOLE DAMN BODY!!! *turns into snowcat*

Snowcat: what....am i?

*snicker*

Snowcat: what's so funny?

Megatron: heh heh heh.....when are you....due? *snort* HAHAHAAAA!!!!

Demolishor: yeah! i hope you have a healthy baby!

Scorponok: boy or girl?

Snowcat: *looks down* oh dear god. I'M PREGNANT!!! but......i'm a male. i can;t be pregnant!

Megatron: and Prime's always either a fatass, a gobot truck, or a megazord. face it. most transformers in this era have problems. however i'm based on Galvatron from the ancient transformer race. so i'm better than you all.


*Autobot Base*

Hot Shot: Optimus. wake up Optimus. you fell asleep in front of Primus again.

Optimus: oh. whoops. what's up?

Hot Shot: Tidal Wave's here. he hasn;t done any damage yet but we don't know why he came.

Kicker: what the- TIDAL WAVE!

Tidal Wave: must find kids..... kicker..... *picks up Kicker and goes to leave*

Kicker: AH!!! HEY PUT ME DOWN!!!!

Optimus: Tidal Wave!!! Kicker had nothing to do with any of this. put him down!

Tidal Wave: tidal Wave has kid.....

Optimus: where do you plan on taking him

tidal Wave: to Tidal wave's house. we go now *retreats*

Optimus: oh god... Dr. Jones is going to kill me. i'm leaving. i have to protect Kicker at all costs *holds up left arm* IT'S MORPHIN TIME!

*the other autobots shake their heads in dishonor and shame*

^LOL this is great!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Classic. Keep it up.

*todal Wave flies up close to space*

Kicker: *frees himself from Tidal Wave's hold and freefalls* GRINDOR, CATCH ME!!!!! *makes a splashdown in the ocean.* DAMMIT WHERE'S THAT STUPIDASS MINICON?!?!?!!?



Grindor: *takes another sip of corona and passes out*



Optimus: oh kicker. you're allright.

Kicker: of course i am. my raging testosterone helped me get back safely. now i'm just soaked.

Optimus: did you encounter any putty troops?

Kicker: ....putty troops?

Optimus: you didn't? oh good

*the G1 asteroid crashes into the ocean*

Hot Rod: ba weep gramou weep ninybon!

Hot Shot: er....ticky tacky toocky too........

Hot Rod: Kup, they don't know the universal greeting.

Inferno: oh THAT'S what that incoherant babbling is? that greeting is out of style nowadays.

Ironhide: why's that little red dude wandering around in circles?

Wheelie: i have jet lag you stupid Punch!

Optimus: so what brings you to ocean city, ancient transformers?

Hot Rod: we've been stranded adrift for exactly 2 decades. now we finally came back.

Optimus: fine. you can have rooms here. next to Jetfire's quarters. i think there are still vacant rooms there

Wreck Gar: a message from the office of dr. James Sokolov on mesothelioma! mesothelioma is a rare, malignant type of-

*Grimlock whacks Wreck Gar*

Grimlock: me Grimlock not want to hear about human disease. me grimlock want money!!!!

Wheelie: money i lack and i want some crack!

Jetfire: hey you can have some of my secret stash, little guy!

Blurr: crack-is-bad-drugs-are-all-bad-we-should-focus-on-our-mission-shouldn't-we-focus?-i-think-we-should-focus-do-you-think-we-should-focus?-huh?-huh?-huh?

Kup: later.....



Alpha-Q: is that blubbering idiot starscream back? i haven't heard from him yet.... HE HAS BETRAYED US!!!!! I'LL STARVE FOR SURE!!!! SHUT UP!!!! YOUR BOTTOMLESS STOMACH IS THE LEAST OF OUR CONCERNS RIGHT NOW YOU BAFFOON!!!! he's right. we must think only about the energon collecting. and Starscream must return in order to continue with the operation.....



Snowcat: yodlatdehoooyodleyodleayyodlooooo!!!!! THIS FORM IS GREAT!!!! except for the pregnant part..... but i can move again!!!!!

Megatron: *closes wings over himself* FWOOOSH!!!! am i invisible yet?

Tidal Wave: ....no

Megatron: POONUTS!!!! i'll never be invisible!!!! has anyone seen demolishor?

Tidal wave: Demolishor is on guard duty at ocean city for the autobots.

Megatron: ....someone go get him for me.

Snow Cat: he said he'll only come back when you have been revived.

Megatron: and look. i'm revived.

Snow Cat: but HE doesn't know that.

Megatron: fine...i'll go get him....i have to do everything around here *grumble grumble*



Demolishor: i can;t stand being guard any longer! i wanna go and see the world!! i wanna do stuff!!

Hot Shot: but we pay you lots of money

Demolishor: no you don't. i like being a Decepticon more! I QUIT!

It's about time you posted more! what took you? This is excellent! You should post a warning. Don't drink rootbeer and read this at the sametime.

Not as good as My I am Unicron. Just WEIRD!

and how would you like it if i posted in your fic dissing it too?

Yeah! zip it Jetstorm! These stories are fun!

They're TRASHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

*Snarls and bites Jetstorms heal*

"I know when I'm not wanted!"

good. cuz i hate criticism that isn't positive. but i'm working on a new chapter.

Yay!

*optimus wakes up*

Optimus: holy hell. what took this chapter so long?
Hot Shot: Bootleg Megatron must be scavenging for more low deals on Stratoforce Megazord again.
Optimus: the blue jet hero! back in the lost galaxy of-
Hot shot: the power rangers never piloted you. you only LOOK like a Megazord....
Kicker: when are we gonna go bustin' some more decepti-butts?
Optimus: when i finish wasting time looking at these computer screens and figure out what they even mean.
Hot Shot: oi....c'mon kicker. let's go bother Ironhide.
Kicker: YAY!!!!
Hot Rod: please teach us how you live now, friends.
Jetfire: well, when you get to be as important as i am, you *fart*. excuse me.. as i was saying, the new autobots consist of omnicons and us. Omnicons get to do all the grunt work. and believe me, they'll NEVER complain. we don't even have to pay them.
Megatron:.....
Kup: is it also a custom to talk while there's a Decepticon army looming over us?
Megatron: you're making it too easy. i cannot go off destroying cities and what not without a decent fight.
Blurr: oh-you-want-a-fight-huh?-i'l-fight-you!-c;mon-c;mon-c'mon.-take-your-best-shot!
Megatron: *twangs blurr with his finger which sends Blurr flying backwards*
Hot Rod: OH NO! IT'S MEGATRON!!!!
*the whole room goes dead silent*
Jetfire: that's right, Hot Rod. it IS Megatron. he;'s been here for the past 5 hours while we chatted....
Hot Rod: really? *looks at Megatron* AUGH!!!! RUN!!! IT'S MEGATRON!!!!!
Jetfire: *shoots hot rod* oh uh...whoops. i guess i missed Megatron.....
Optimus: what's going on in here, men?
Megatron: AH! OPTIMUS PRIME!!!!
Optimus: you have alot of nerve sneaking into our base like this!
Megatron: actually i busted my way in.
Optimus: well whatever you did, you're not going any further! IT'S MORPHIN TIME!!! TYRANOSAURUS!!!! RED RANGER READY!!!! *assumes awful karate pose*
Megatron: er... maybe i came ona  bad time. i can;t go stealing energon without a good fight. i'll invade some other time... Decepticons, retreat... *grumble* what a waste of time....
*the decepticons retreat*
Jetfire: well i'm bored. i'm gonna go snort some crack.
Wheelie: crack is good so snort it, i should
Wreck Gar: this week on "the view"
Hot rod: *wakes up* did i just hear the name of my favorite TV show?!!?!?
Wreck Gar: this is bootleg megatron. bootleg megatron is doing well. very well indeed. because just the other day, bootleg megatron kicked the bejesus out of bob for using enzyte and always smiling and zoning out!
Grimlock: ME GRIMLOCK WANT ENZYTE!!!!
Arcee: eew!!!



Starscream: i'm back!
Alpha-Q: AH!!! WELCOME BACK, MY SON!!! what have you brought with you?
Starscream: eh?  i left to go find myself.
Alpha-Q: FIND YOURSELF?!?!?! FIND YOURSELF??!? I FOUND YOU!!! YOU'RE STANDING RIGHT THERE!!!!!! TRY LOOKING IN A MIRROR
Starscream: dude.....i'm a freakin' ghost. i don;t have a reflection. YOU try finding yourself when you're invisible!
Alpha-Q: never mind. what have you brough back with you?
Starscream: nothing
Alpha-Q? WHAT?!?!?!!?THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!!! WE SENT YOU FOR ENERGON AND YOU DISOBEYED US!!!!!i do not tolerate disobedience WAIT!!!! he brings me food!!!! we must spare him!!!IT'S ABOUT FOOD IS IT?!?!!?!? NO NO NOOOOOOO!!!! THIS IS ABOUT THE ENERGON YOU GLUTTON!!!!! BUT ENERGON TASTES LIKE GARBAGE!!!! I NEED A TASTY BALOGNA SANDWICH!!!!as a robot, none of us taste. you cannot taste either. so i fail to understand why you think you canDOH I'D CRY BUT MY FACE DOESN;T MOVE!!!!! I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TASE THINGS AND EAT EVERYTHING IN  SIGHT!!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!?!?!?!OH JUST SHUT UP BEFORE I EAT YOU! BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU HAVE A BIGGER MOUTH THAN ME!!!!!
Starscream: so...yeah...i'll just....leave then..... i got a poker game to go to...er....bye



Prowl: i'm bored. i wanna go swimming!
Landmine: shut up. rodimus is pondering the great thoughts.
Rodimus: ......*thinking* i wonder if pepperoni was the more ideal topping....but did i choose right with mushrooms....hmmmm......i require more concentration....
Landmine: one of these days......
Prowl: well this sucks. let's go blow up a satellite!
Landmine: have fun......
Prowl: fine i'll go alone. don;t expect me to come back looking for you!
Landmine: what are you talking about?
Prowl: i have no idea.....

mumbojumbo

Jetstorm #1 this is no the best fan fic i have read , i admit but it does have its moments, no one is forcing you to read it so please stop posting these putdowns, how would you like it if someone went on your fics and said they were sh!t no offense but its just not, nice

thanx Rotor. i will also admit that i prolly will never be the top comedy writer though i still consider myself a champion. jetstorm, you keep that up and you'll probably get banned or something....

Nah, I'm not doing anything, freedom of speech guys, I live in the US, remember?

meh. there are LIMITS, you know! it all depends on where you are IN the US. like schools etc. this forum may not be any exception. i'm not sure....

hmmm

that looks an awful lot like spam to me.....

well. i'm working on the next chapter... as soon as i get more feedback, i'll post it.

Dude, it's great. Keep it up, and don't bother reading Jetstorm's posts anymore, he's nearly as bad as Bodycount. What with him believing the people on this thread are listening to him at all...

well then, time for a new chapter. and guess what, MORE TRANSFORMERS ARE COMING!

new robots and their alternate modes are as follows:
Avalanche-ore dock
Verticon-aerial lift bridge
Wedge-Duluth, Superior Interstate bridge (Blatnik Bridge)
Bongimus-richard Ira Bong memorial Bridge

<Duluth, MN>
*beep. beep. beep*
Avalanche: sir, i'm picking up something on radar
Wedge: really....hmmmm. what in Richie Bong's name is "ocean City"?
Bongimus: my name's not Richie.
Wedge: i was talking about your daddy
Bongimus: *sob* I HAVE NO FATHER!
Avalanche: wait a minute... when the hell did wedge get here?
Wedge: i dunno... i thought i was supposed to start here.
Avalanche: NOT YET! GO AWAY, THEN WAIT UNTIL I CALL YOU!
Wedge: fine! i didn't like you either! i'm gonna go have FUN! *leaves*
Bongimus: *shakes head* oi...... well. might as well take a look at this blip here, seeing as the coffee maker's broken again
Avalanche: should i contact Verticon and Wedge?
Bongimus: if you really feel that they should slow us down......
Avalanche: why are you in such a bad mood anyway?
Bongimus: because this morning, i was in bridge mode and captain salty beard was in his chicken-playing mood.....i think my back will be dislocated for a week or so.....
Avalanche: ouchies...... i'll notify Wedge and Verticon. *calls them*
Wedge: *peaks head into room* but i was just here
Avalanche: NOT YET!
Bongimus: GET LOST!
*Wedge walks in and falls over*
Avalanche: I SAID...oh whatever. i suppose NOW you're on time.
*the door falls over*
Verticon: hey guys. er...i mean *Blasts his horn loudly and proudly (folks, this bridge has a VERY loud horn)*
Bongimus: *eye twitches* stop trying to come through in bridge mode. and stop greeting us with that damn horn.
Verticon: *transforms* sheesh. somebody's being a poophead unit.....
Avalanche: *snicker*
Bongimus: IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
Wedge: anyhoo. why did you call us here?
Avalanche: i found a new city to explore. ocean city. ocean means water. and if you have water, you need...
Verticon and wedge: BRIDGES! *give each other high fives*
Verticon: there's no time to lose. TO THE BOAT!
Bongimus: it's called a SHIP, you dumbass.
Wedge: i thought that's what you call the things that go into outer space.
Bongimus: it IS
Wedge: well if they're BOTH ships, how do i know which one's which?
Bongimus: ...you're a dumbass. everyone place your decoys at their appropriate locations and let's go.
Wedge: i sat on mine...... it looks like a moose now
Bongimus: good enough. put it in

<meanwhile in Superior>

Tourist 1: what's up with this bridge? it looks like a moose. that can't be right
Wedge: see? i told ya
Avalanche: idiot! you're not supposed to let the audience know that we can watch scene transitions.

<ocean city>
Grimlock: ME GRIMLOCK ORDER 100 MOVIES ON PAY PER VIEW!!!!
Jetfire: you WHAT?!?!?!?!
Optimus: i have discovered toilet paper! inform the crew!
Inferno: um, Optimus sir, i don't honestly think they'd give a damn. NAPKINS, however, are MUCH more interesting!
Ironhide: no they're not! toilet paper has more uses! and it's all in one big roll!
Kicker: YEAH! AND WE'LL MESS UP PEOPLES' HOUSES, TOO!!!
Ironhide: YAY! you agree with me!
Kicker: wait a minute *kicks Ironhide* no i don't!
Ironhide: damn! and i thought i was gonna have a GOOD day for once!
Optimus: not as long as you're a member of my team!
Wreck Gar: rip! slip! brush! AHHH!
Kup: oh really? very interesting. *rips his arm off and brushes his face with it* AAAAHHHH!!!!!!! *screams in pain*
Hot Rod: i could use some of those *mimicks Kup* AAAHHHH!!!!!! refreshing!
Optimus: time to find zordon.... we need a mission. rita CAN'T have been plotting something for THIS long.

<Unicron's head>
Scorponok: sorry i've been gone for so long. i have to go about claiming countries and what not.
Alpha-Q: AND YOU BROUGHT ME MY FOOD?!?!!?NO HE HASN'T! HE BROUGHT ENERGON!
Scorponok: nope. i got a sombraro!
Starscream: can i try that on once?.....
Alpha-Q:we created the two of you to bring us energon AND YOU'RE BOTH FAILING MISERABLY! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I'M STILL HUNGRY!!!!!
Scorponok: i'll go fetch some if you really want it THAT badly.
Alpha-Q: oh yes! and bring me back some burgers too!


<Decepticon HQ>

Demolishor: MEGATRON! can you really be alive?
Megatron: for the 40 billionth time, YES I AM!
Demolishor: YAY!
Megatron: do you really have to ask me that everyday?
Tidal Wave: tidal wave is back. has children
Megatron: those are dolls....
Tidal Wave: tidal wave like Betsy wetsy. but now doll has broke from robotic strength of tidal wave... Tidal Wave hopes that the cops dont arrest Tidal Wave for child abuse.

LMAO What happend to slappy thrust? that I loved. Someone needed to dslap Armada Megatron. I'm just sorry it wasn't me.

hmmmm. well. thrust was armada. so i couldn't bring him to energon. i think that i could have Landmine be the slapper though...

No, make Rodimis the Slapper. Or, Howabout Rodimis is Schizophrenic, That would be a hoot. These are pure energon gold alloy.

jetstorm. "you be banned"

to rotor- amen... lol

to sharkticonqueen- Rodimus still has no quirk yet. none of his team really does either. i might reuse some of my old ones. rodimus will slap his teamates when they disobey him. Prowl lacks attention skills, and Landmine seems to be the only sane one....

Verticon: *speaks thru his walkie-talkie* Verticon to base. The ship has just arrived. Stand by to steal it.


Avalanche: roger that. We’ll commence the plan immediately. Alright guys, remember what you were supposed to do?
*The other bots say yes*
Wedge: *goes outside* HEY GUYS! CAN I…… UH…. BORROW YOUR SHIP THINGY?!
Captain: uhhh…sure. Just remember to bring it back….
Wedge: OKEY DOKEY!
Avalanche: ok. That works too…. *radios Verticon* ok. Wedge just got the ship for us. Get your ass over here!
Verticon: good lord that’s eerie…. Well. I’m on my way. *Breaks door down* HOOOONK! HONK! HONK!
Bongimus: IF YOU DO THAT ONE MORE TIME, I’LL RIP YOUR ARMS OFF!!!
Verticon: you really need to have fun, man. Who’s gonna drive this thing?
Avalanche: first, we all need to shrink ourselves to human size. Otherwise we’ll sink the ship… *shrinks everyone*
Verticon: but still. Who’s gonna pilot it?
Wedge: OO! OO! OO! ME! ME! ME!
Bongimus: let me think about that. No
Wedge: I HATE YOU! I’M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN!
Bongimus: THANK YOU, LORD!!!
Wedge: LET’S BE FRIENDS!
Bongimus: dammit…..
Avalanche: I’m gonna put this AI into the ship too. *Installs AI*
Wedge: l-l-let me guess. It’s like a GI. Only better!
Avalanche: what’s a GI?
Wedge: you know! GI Joe! DUH!!!…LOOTH! DULUTH! Get it? HAHAHAHAAA!!
Bongimus: grrrr… *hits Wedge in the head*
Columbia Star: wha? Huh? Where am I?
Avalanche: ah excellent! It works!
Columbia Star: the hell it does! Now get me some meat and a pole! I need… to FISH!
Verticon: NO FISH FOR YOU! *Slaps Columbia Star on the handrail*
Columbia Star: OW!!


Avalanche and Verticon: *at the front of the ship with beer mugs*
We're whalers on the moon. We carry our harpoons. But there ain't no whales so we tell tall tales and sing this whaling tune!!!!
Columbia Star: good idea! Let’s go find a whale!
Verticon: there aren’t any whales in lake Superior! Wait until we get to the ocean.
Avalanche: I plan on installing AI’s into every ship that ever visits Duluth via a hidden installation grid in the canal!
Verticon: ooo. So they’ll greet me in words instead of a horn when they pass beneath me?
Avalanche: I guess.
Verticon: SWEET! Pass me some ink balloons! I’m gonna mess up some decks!
Columbia Star: AUGH!



Columbia Star: I’m bored. Who wants to go fishing?
Bongimus: I’m in a surprisingly good mood today. Throw me your anchor once. WAIT! Never mind that. I don’t need the whole deck collapsing from it. *Carefully puts meat on the anchor* there. Now drop it. Some fish will come and eat it.
*3 ships approach from all directions*
Mesabi Miner: HEY HEY HEY!!!
Indiana Harbor: this AI is great.
Alpena: YO WASSUP!!!
Captain Saltybeard: SILENCE, YE! I be rammin’ that ship there! Hold ye steady…
Alpena: do I have to?
Captain Saltybeard: NO DINNER FOR YE!
Crew member: why do you always say ye?
Captain Saltybeard: uh… YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF… SALTYBEARD!
Crew Member: uh… sure
Indiana Harbor: I hate commanding fellow ships, but. Just to let you know, Captain Saltybeard stole the Alpena and is trying to ram you. If I were you, I’d escape…
Columbia Star: you don’t need to tell me twice. I’M OUT OF HERE! *Accelerates and leaves the ram zone*
Mesabi Miner: we’ll keep him busy… *rams the Alpena*
Alpena: AUGH! HEY! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!?!


Inferno: wait a minute. 2 squadrons approaching from either direction have just appeared on radar, sir
Optimus: THE PUTTIES ARE HERE!!!!! IT’S MORPHIN TIME!!
Hot Shot: What’s a “putty�?
Inferno: don’t ask…
Wheelie: *to Optimus* I have one thing to say. You, Sir, are gay!
Wreck Gar: is your child protected for the future? Gerber, the baby people you’ve known since you were a baby-
Jetfire: no I didn’t. In fact. I only knew about them a few seconds ago. *Fart* ‘scuse me
*Rodimus’s ship lands and the 3 of them get out*
Landmine: WE COME IN PEACE!
*SLAP!!!*
Rodimus: I say the cool stuff!
Prowl: we finally found it! Ocean city!
Rodimus: does this planet need saving?
Optimus: only when lord Zedd attacks.
Hot Shot: *ahem* don’t mind Optimus. He’s an idiot.
Rodimus: I see…
Grimlock: ME GRIMLOCK NO LIKE YOU!
Hot Rod: Megatron almost never invades here, Optimus. Has he surrendered?
Optimus: I doubt it. Megatron just takes a while to plot his next attack.
Rodimus: we only came here to let you know that we’re patrolling the space around Earth now. That is all. Goodbye, Optimus Prime.
Prowl: thank you thank you. We’ll be here till Tuesday!
*SLAP!!*
Rodimus: BAD! I said the last word! No talking!
*The Rodimus gang takes off and flies away*
Optimus: but he just got here…
Ironhide: you scared him, sir
Inferno: DECEPTICONS AT 4 O’CLOCK!!!!
Megatron: MWA HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!! WHERE AM I?!?! YOU CANNOT SEE ME BECAUSE I’M INVISIBLE!!! HAHAHAAAA!!!!
Hot Shot: you’re right in front of me…
Megatron: POONUTS! Grr.. Lucky guess….
Optimus: MEGATRON!
Megatron: THIS ENDS HERE, OPTIMUS PRIME!
Optimus: one shall stand, one shall fall…. Unless we both fall.. Or both survive…but one of those shall definitely happen today.
Inferno: HA! I listen to radiofree Cybertron too! That was a great parody.
Optimus: I MADE IT UP!
Inferno: no you didn’t. Radiofree Cybertron said it in their transformers: the movie parody
Optimus: *sob*
Blurr: I’M-READY-TO-FIGHT. I’LL-KICK-SOME-ASS. YOU’RE-REALLY-SCREWED-NOW!! I’LL-KICK-YOUR-ASS!! HAHAHA!!
Scorponok: hand over the energon or we’ll destroy you all…. After I CLAIM THIS LAND IN THE NAME OF THE CAIMEN ISLANDS! *Sticks a flag in the ground*
Starscream: those are actual elder transformers!
Kup: I’M NOT OLD, I’M BIG-BONED!
Hot Rod: I’m probably smarter than you!
Megatron: uh…. I’m over here…wait.. MY INVISIBILITY WORKS!!!
Jetfire: *fart* s’cuse me. *Ahem* no it doesn’t. Hot Rod’s an idiot…
Megatron: POONUTS POONUTS POONUTS!!!!
Demolishor: I’m just itching for some action here!
Tidal Wave: Kicker….come to Tidal Wave!
Kicker: uhh…. TAKE MISHA!
Misha: HEY!


Landmine: I don’t think he’s ever coming down from there…oh. He is? Well. I doubt it. Ohhh… you have a good point there…
Prowl: Who the hell are you talking to? You’re schizophrenic and so are you!
Landmine: I am not!


Alpha-Q: what is the stsatus on our mission? SCORPONOK HAS ARRIVED AT OCEAN CITY AND HAS BEGUN THE EXTRACTION....I HOPE! WHAT ABOUT MY PIZZA?!?!!?THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT!!!YES IT IS!!!!THE MAIN PRITORITY IS GETTING ENERGON!!! NO IT ISNT! WE MUST GET PIZZA!!! LOTS OF IT!!! LET'S HAVE A BARBECUE!!!!DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE AND RIP THAT DAMN MOUSTACHE OFF OF YOU!!!stop fighting... i cant concentrate...

LOL

Great stuff,
It gets 5 lol's(the same as 5 stars but alot funnier)
Keep it up

Hahahaha looks like you found Rodimus' gimmick..

Dude after reading this story over and over it is still the funniest one around. As for Jetstorm what does he know. BAH!!! Rodimus is both schyzo and a lost comedian. He just doesn't know it.

actually Landmine's the schizo. Rodimus is like thrust. he slaps anyone who annoys him even in the slightest way. plus he;s always pondering the "great thoughts" which usually are nothing more than what he did the previous night

Okay, try this then---have Rodimus a brave Warrior by day but by night an Elvis inpersonator. Just about everyone will be all shucked up

elvis impersonation sounds good. but it will get old. and i dont know enough about elvis. but you gave me an idea. every night, during a full moon, Rodimus' thrid transformation automatically activates. he becomes Slapimus! kinda like a werewolf. he has no choice. he MUST transform. lol he goes around space. slapping anyone he sees. then he says something nutty. lol. the irony is since he;s in space, he's always near a full moon. so he can always see it.