Saw this on another board and had to share!


How the Grinch Stole Marriage
by Mary Ann Horton, Lisa and Bill Koontz

(with apologies to Dr. Suess.)

Every Gay down in Gayville liked Gay Marriage a lot......
But the Grinch, who lived just east of Gayville, did NOT!!

The Grinch hated happy Gays! The whole Marriage season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, his Florsheims were too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all was
His heart and brain were two sizes too small.

"And they're buying their tuxes!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow's the first Gay Wedding! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Gay Marriage from coming!"

For, tomorrow, he knew... All the Gay girls and boys
would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their vows!
And then! Oh, the Joys! Oh, the Joys!

And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Gay down in Gayville the tall and the small,
would stand close together, all happy and blissing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Gays would start kissing!

"I MUST stop Gay Marriage from coming! ...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he went to his closet, grabbed his sheet and his hood.
And he chuckled, and clucked, with a great Grinchy word!
"With this beard and this cross, I look just like our Lord!"

"All I need is a Scripture..." The Grinch looked around.
But, true Scripture is scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said,
"With no Scripture on Marriage, I'll fake one instead!"
"It's one man and one woman," the Grinch falsely said.

Then he broke in the courthouse. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Georgie could do it, then so could the Grinch.
The little Gay benefits hung in a row.
"These bennies," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most uncanny,
around the whole room, and he took every benny!
Health care for partners! Doctors for kiddies!
Tax rights! Adoptions! Pensions and Wills!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, with a chill,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, in his bill.

Then he slunk to the kitchen, and stole Wedding Cake.
He cleaned out that icebox and made it look straight.
He took the Gay-bar keys! He took the Gay Flag.
Why, that Grinch even took their last Gay birdseed bag!

"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will pocket their Rings."
And the Grinch grabbed the Rings, and he started to shove
when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and off flew his hood.
Little Lisa-Bi Gay behind him sadly stood.
The Grinch had been caught by small Lisa-Bi.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "My, oh, my, why?"
"Why are you taking our Wedding Rings? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Shepherd sneered,
"The judges are evil, the other states weird."
"I'll fix the rings there and I'll bring them back here."

It was quarter past dawn... All the Gays, still a-bed,
all the Gays still a-snooze when he packed up and fled.
"Pooh-Pooh to the Gays!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now no Gay Marriage is coming!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
then the Gays down in Gayville will all cry Boo-Hoo!"

He stared down at Gayville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Gay down in Gayville, the tall and the small,
was kissing! Without any bennies at all!
He HADN'T stopped Marriage from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came without lawyers, no papers to sort!"
"It came without licenses, came without courts!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Marriage," he thought, "doesn't come from the court.
Maybe Marriage...perhaps... comes right from the heart.
Maybe Marriage comes from all the words the Gays say.
Words like Husband, like Wedding, and Spouse who is Gay."
And what happened then...? Well...in Gayville they say
that the Grinch's small brain grew three sizes that day!

And the Gays had their Weddings. They promised for life.
They swore to be faithful, to Wife and her Wife.
The Husbands were happy, to each other they vowed
To be Out and be Honest, be Gay and be Proud.
They told all their neighbors and friends of their Spouse,
They told of their Marriage and sharing their house.
They said "We got Married." They shouted it loud.
Their marital status was "Married and Proud."

And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light.
And he brought back the rings, cake and Gay birdseed bags!
And he... ...HE HIMSELF... hung the Gay Rainbow Flag!
...
The Lord looked down, at the proud and the tall,
and said "These are my children, and I love them all."


*****************************

The authors of this little piece of work have given their permission to everyone to copy this anywhere, just so long as credit is given.

I just figure homophobes are really just in the closet. Makes these people way more fun to listen to.

Go gay marriage!

you know, that really just sums it all up, really beautifully.
(tear)

I love it

But not America, where gripy closed minded southern rednecks claim God grants them the right to enforce their lifestyles onto others, and all homosexuals are regarded as outcasts in America, but still forced to pay taxes.

I'm not gay, fellas..but I love you guys to death.
keep fighting..it'll work out eventually.

*right-winger*
*laughs, "aww"s*
CRAP i think they all heard me...


Thank you. Thank you for grouping us all together like that.
We can't hate any gays, whether they're cool or not, but we can hate all the southerners and Christians, in one fell swoop.

You know just like W Bush went over to Tony Blairs house and forced his country into his F-ed-Up war.................

I think it would only be fair for Tony Blair grow a pair and come over to Bush's house and force him to spread the love from England and Europe to America!

Com'on Bush tell Tony Blair his country and government are not moral!

Better yet, tell Cheneys daughter that she isn't moral!

You can run but you can't hide!

It is time for America to get out of the stone age and into the future; socialy, culturaly and technologicaly.

*Better clear this one up before it gets bad*

Body Count is not talking about all southrners or all rednecks, just only the "gripy closed minded" ones.

And as far as being Christian, you said it he didn't (God is not regulated to Christians only).

The bottem line: there are "gripy closed minded southern rednecks" who just do not understand that ALL humans are free in this country PERIOD!

And many of these "gripy closed minded southern rednecks" just like "gripy closed minded corperate oil fat cat right wingers" use some form of religion to justify why certain humans living in America should not have equal rights yet they pay taxes.

Sorry but if you want to limit freedoms to Americans then you are Anti-American and if you are Anti-American then you are a Terrorist.............

Read your Patriot act: Anti-Americans Are terrorists, plain and simple.

Guess you can follow the chain here and discover if you are Anti-Gay you are infact a Terrorist!

My bad. Sorta. Just tired of being stereotyped by many. If he wanted to talk about gripy closed-minded people, he should have said "gripy closed-minded people"

And as far as


I suppose you are right, but then again, I suppose he isn't referring to it that way.

You gnow what, just take all that out. Mainly just pissed about the southern thing. Shoulda just started my own rant thread. *slaps self*
Anyway.
Spiffy poem, Sol (who is part of the "southern redneck" Alabama crew).

I'm from Oklahoma....born and raised.
Believe me, it's the gripey closed-minded southern rednecks that outnumber the more intelligent poeple in this area who actually DO believe that everyone is equal, here.

"Outnumber." That's better. As long as you don't make it a blanket statement, that's fine.

I like blankets. Blankets are warm and cuddely.
Last night when it was cold, I used a blanket.

Oh wait, you ment something else.
My Bad.

Yep, I'm from teh AL crew. I am southern, but I'm gay....so there's no way I can be any of the other things....except gripey, sometimes I can be that.

MP, I'm gonna start calling you Linus. So sayeth teh Queen!

This MF'ing awesome! Thanks for posting, and you've got another hetero supporter here. Wish I had a photo of my big rainbow American flag that flies from my porch.

FREEDOM FOR ALL AMERICANS GAY OR STRAIGHT

I just gotta say I love you guys.

*big hug to everyone in this thread*
(but in a manly, no crotch touch, one back pat, kinda way)

I'll allow two back pats. And maybe an accidental crotch rub. But that's all.



Seriously, it sucks that the homophobic community has taken control of your country right now. Just remember the wise words I just made up : Only through struggle can meaningful change be made.